Caption It

The photos below were taken last month for LAE Swimwear (@laeswimwear) Summer 2015 Collection. Make up and styling done by: Lei Ponce, photographed by: Bella Morcen of The Creative People (@thecreativepeople_ph).

I’ll come up with a caption for every photo and share my thoughts on them.
IMG_4148“Prisoner”, sometimes I feel like I know the direction I want to take. I know that the narrow path is the right path. But I’d choose to be a prisoner inside my comfort zone, fearful of failure, intimidated by the world, discouraged for me to move in an unpredictable and uncontrollable ways. I have so much fears crippling in my heart, like what if I lose my faith, what if God doesn’t answer my prayers, what if I back slide? The fears imprison me. I’ve been like this since I was a child. In my elementary days I would always have a class recitation moment where in the teacher would ask a question and I’d feel like I know the answer but I wouldn’t raise my hand because I’m scared it might not be the right answer, so I’d settle to being silent and not be corrected, then one of my classmates would be called by the teacher and utter the answer that’s in my head, and it’s right, and I would regret not taking the risk of answering. I don’t want to be a prisoner to my fears anymore. I want to be strong and courageous, not afraid or terrified of anything. I want to always believe that the Lord goes with me, and whether I fail to be right or not, He will never leave nor forsake me.
“Doubts” are products of lack of trust, and trust is something that we work on for our doubts to go away and for us to have joy inside out. I think the best way to eliminate doubts is through faith, because faith is believing that the things you may not see at the moment may occur one day. It’s being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. James 1:5-8 says: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. Ouch! This is very evident to me, when I doubt I become double-minded, unstable and indecisive of what I should do. I don’t want to be doubtful. I want to believe in faith that all the Lord’s promises will come to pass. 
“Over thinking” I’m guilty of this for I have the usual tendency to over analyze things. I can’t seem to grasp fully that I shall not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I shall present my requests to God, that He will not put me to shame, that my labor for Him isn’t in vain. In whatever event I may encounter, I shall allow the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Transcend=go beyond the range or limits=exceed=beat=outshine -> this is the kind of peace I want.
IMG_4153 (1)
I want to turn from evil and do good, to seek “peace” and pursue it. I know I can make as much plans as I want for my life, and there’s nothing wrong with planning. What makes it wrong is when I over dwell on the planning and forget the sole purpose of all my plans. Many are the plans I have in my heart, but it will always be His’ purpose that will prevail. Attaining my goals will only be possible if I keep His’ peace that is beyond anything I’m conscious of, anything that I will ever be able to understand. And even if I get to the point where in I have already attained “some” of the promises I dreamed of having, even if I get to a level of intense maturity, I will never be bright enough, I will never be victorious enough for I must constantly be reminded that my life exists not for the matter of achieving my goals and having all my plans fulfilled. I do exist for the purpose of the One who puts me into existence, to stay at peace and satisfied in Him. In this world, I will never get to the place where I want to be for my human flesh will always be hungry for more, but God offered me a better option, it’s not wanting, but being. Pursuing peace is being peace, pursuing success is choosing to be successful right now, pursuing love is being love itself today, everyday.
And with all these I speak “freedom”. I may or may not attain what I envision my life to be, I may be good enough, or may never be enough. I may be fearful, doubtful and anxious. My flesh and my heart may fail, but it doesn’t really matter, for I can freely live in the truth that He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. The Lord will always be after my heart’s condition. He is the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end of anything that ever existed, that exists and that are yet to come to existence in this planet. That truth alone shall lead me to freedom, to not fear, not doubt and not worry. For He’s got me, He loves me packaged with all my flaws and imperfections. Always have, always will.
His’ love for me is like the lyrics of the song White Flag by Dido:
I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it where’s the sense in that?
I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we wereI will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
His’ love for me never fails, never gives up and never runs out.

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