I’ll Bring You More Than A Song

What’s awesome about being in love with Jesus is when you begin to relate to Him some songs that weren’t really written for Him. That simply proves the He truly is LOVE Himself, that no matter how much the world points us to things, emotions, people, and feelings that looks like love to us, Absolute Love will always be the one to prevail. 

Below are my Top 2 songs I dedicate to Christ, My Lover: 

1) Hanging By A Momeny by Lifehouse –  Please please please watch and listen to the lyrics. Nothing can separate us from His love! By His Grace, I’m being still in His’ presence. 💜

2) White Flag by Dido

Jesus: I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you, or tell you that. But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it. Where’s the sense in that? -> (😭😭😭) I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder, or return to where we were. -> (Each time I’d be reminded of my past sins, He reminds me that everything works for my good, even the bad stuff.) But I will go down with this ship. And I won’t put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be. -> (Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Me: I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again. And I caused nothing but trouble. I understand if you can’t talk to me again. And if you live by the rules of “it’s over”. Then I’m sure that that makes sense. -> (When I’m guilty of my sins… Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved.)

He just won’t give up on me, on us! Never. Love is war. He fought and He’ll fight for us until the very end. Our Alpha and Omega. 💜

That’s why (by His grace) worship becomes easy and beautiful for me. Before, I’d laugh at people who’d go crazy doing praise and worship. It was so hard for me to sing and raise my hands, to be vulnerable for Him. Now, now I get why many Christians are ‘OA’ or over acting in worshipping Him, eh OA din kaya yung mahalin at piliin ka Nya kahit hindi ka karapat-dapat mahalin. OA yung love Nya for us.


Below are photos with my sisters-in-Christ (who are also OA for Jesus 😉) taken last Wednesday @ Upper Room Worship MNL in City Golf – Ortigas.

It’s crazy how I am now worshipping Him in a place I’d go to before to get drunk and wasted. *Gasps* Lost and now found. Thank You, Jesus. 

To learn more about Upper Room Worship MNL: https://www.instagram.com/upperroomworshipmnl/ 

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Dear Ate Girl: It’s not him, it’s you


Dear Ate Girl,

Giiirl, so ano na? Sisisihin mo nanaman that guy for leaving you. You’ll try to cut yourself again? Or replace him with someone new to be able to forget? You’ll tell your friends how painful it is. Or go on the prideful end, book a flight somewhere in the world pretending you’re okay on your Instagram posts and you got everything handled pero yung totoo durog na durog ka na. You’ve been warned, but you did not listen. Ayan tuloy, you’re back in that loop again!

Sa start pa lang wala ka ng peace, you knew it was wrong, you felt it but you reasoned with it. You wrestled with God about it. Lord, baka pwede na ‘to. Lord, I can probably change him. Lord, ako na bahala dito, tagal na ng waiting game I’m settling for this one at the moment. Lord, friends lang naman. Talaga lang ah, friends? Pero deep inside you knew you were falsely in love and you were already hearing that still small voice telling you clearly: NO, HINDI YAN, HE’S NOT GOD’S BEST FOR YOU. Ehh ang tigas ng ulo mo. You come up with reasons to keep the relationship everyday, hanep you would even quote the Bible to back up your baluktot decisions. Girl, didn’t you forget that Satan also quoted the scripture to Jesus? Ano baaa. 

Okay, don’t get me wrong hindi kita cinocondemn, I’m just reminding you of your heart and how fragile and easily tempted it is. Nakalimutan mo na ba almost similar din yung pain mo with the guy prior to that one? That’s why you really have to guard your heart beh! Pagod na ako to see how lugmok and emo you are, I’m sure pagod na pagod ka na din. You know you’re not ready for a relationship, for a man, for that is not really what you need. Ang keylangan mo is to rekindle your relationship with Christ, He’s the Man you need. Bumalik ka na please. Maawa ka sa sarili mo and sa mga taong tunay na nagmamahal sayo. 

Dati super on fire ka kay Jesus, ngayon hindi ka na nagrereply when you get invited to go to church or Bible study. Again, alam mo that you are not yet ready. Try mo lang magpapursue kay Jesus ulit! Mahilig ka magmahal diba, try mo sa kanya ipour-out lahat ng pagmamahal mo. Carireen mo na si Lord. Diba nga His’ plans for you are good, pleasing and perfect? Don’t you like that package deal? Matalino ka naman so gets mo na ‘to, balik ka na sa Kanya. 

And wag mo na sisihin anyone, repent for your sins, humble yourself, God will forgive you naman e. Pero please don’t get stuck to the point na sa repenting period ka nalang forever and you condemn yourself na. Sis, love ka ni Lord. Intense! Alam Nya when you are ready and when you are not so wag ka ng feelingera na kaya mo ihandle your life. Cause hindi talaga. Listen to Him. Fall in love with Jesus again. Sya nalang Boyfriend mo. One day ibibigay Nya sayo yung pak na pak na God’s Best mo, ganern! Pero for now, kay Lord ka nalang muna. Keri? 

Sincerely,

Your Ate Girl in Christ 😉

Mama: Elo’s Pregnant, Ela’s Getting Married – Me: Whaaat???

Yes. That was my initial reaction when I first heard from my mom that my younger sisters, the twins are taking huge dramatic decisions in their own separate lives. A little background, they both just turned 25 last June, they’re a bit young for these kinds of circumstances (well, for me). Days after their birthday, the first news my mom popped to our chat group was Elo’s pregnancy. I was shocked and worried because she’s not married with her fiancé yet. I initially wanted to talk to her, nag, get mad, total outburst of emotion cause I was very frustrated. But I had to control my self, I just cried in my room instead, called and spoke to Ela. We prayed and dedicated the baby to Jesus. Few weeks later I was on the phone with Mama and she brought up and asked me more than twice if I already got to talk with Ela about her plans. I irritatingly replied to my mom that her plan is to come back to Alabama and be with our family in a month (she’s currently in Georgia with her fiancé for about 2years). And then Mama revealed to me that Ela changed her decision, her fiancé, Dylan proposed to her again after not fulfilling his promise of marrying my sister right when he took her to Georgia, and she said yes to the proposal. He got my parents’ blessings too. I was sad a minute after I found out. It felt like everything we prayed for on her life situation was thrown away. But there was a sudden switch of emotion in my chest as my mom continually explained it to me, thank God. 

Next thought that came in my head was: who am I to judge my sisters? I’ve disappointed my parents too in a lot of ways, I was even worse than the two. That moment, I felt like I was the goody-good older brother in the Parable of the Lost Son. Becoming angry and complaining in my head about my parents’ acceptance on the twins’ plans. Check out Luke 15:28. Mama even mentioned that Ela was scared to tell me. So I had to pause and thoroughly think about my stand and check my heart so I won’t be quarreling with my sisters when I call them. 

Let’s segue for a bit: I began my walk with Jesus months after the twins left the Philippines to be with our family in the USA, imagine now how I was to them as an older sister. I was an awful one. When they were still in the Philippines, more than 5years ago, I didn’t really play the role of an “ATE” to them. We’d always fight, they’d see my tantrums with my former boyfriend and they’d get really irritated at me, there was even a time that I took drugs in front of them, and I’d encourage them to smoke, drink and party. Why am I bringing this up? Truth is the root of my frustration wasn’t cause of their decisions but because I thought things would’ve been different if I was a Christlike sister to them back in the days. That really saddened me. 

Here’s what I learned though: Isaiah 43:18-19 says “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” The least I shall put my attention on is the past and the negative stuff. I shall not condemn myself, neither my sisters. I know that everything has consequences and we cannot skip that, God is just and must punish sin and He remains gracious and loving at the same time. Again, I shall not underestimate how He can and will work in the hearts and lives of my sisters, and my entire family. We all are a work in progress.

Right now, I try to look at the bright side of it: that they both have someone to love and pursue them for as long as they live. Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.💜 That instead of being anxious I may just be more prayerful: for the baby to be healthy and the marriage to flourish. What’s also nice is that their soon to be husbands, my brothers-in-law seem to love them well. Well, we will all continually pray for that. And for Elo and Ela also to be prepared for family and married life — with Jesus as their guide and in the center of their family. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I was able to talk with Ela and congratulated her. The wedding is on August and we are all excited. I also got to message Elo, prayed for the baby. She’s giving birth on December and we are even more excited. I sincerely felt that it was peaceful doing it. I also think my sisters are delighted with our family’s support. 

Thank You, Lord for the forgiveness of our sins and for the gift of life and marriage. I above pray that we can all love, fear and obey you at the same time that you may be glorified truthfully and mightily in our lives. Entrusting my family to you. Love you! Xx 

Do Not Underestimate Grace: TRUE LIFE 2016

Do not underestimate what the Lord can do? I did, shame on me. This is the ultimate lesson the Lord taught me the past 3days. Before the True Life Retreat, I was very hesitant to come. You know the ego of a ‘leader’? I had that feeling. I’d ask God, “do I really have to go through this and be a ‘participant’? Should I not be volunteering instead? I’ve done something similar with it before. What else is new to learn?”  What made it even more horrible is that I didn’t really promote it to the ladies I’m leading when my dgroup leader asked me to. In my head was this false belief and compartmentalization of the process of accepting Christ. I’d tell myself that I won’t put much effort on inviting my girls to this one because I’m originally not from CCF and their growth must be with my original church, which is Victory. I knooow. It’s stupid, lame, controlling, unfaithful to the church of Jesus Christ. In 1 Corinthians 1:10 Paul says: I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. Boom! Professional Sinner alert. I repented. 

The humbling didn’t end there. Nakakahiya talaga but I have to expose my sins. First time in my life (and hopefully the last too), I was standing doing praise and worship on the 1st day and the 1st session of the retreat, I almost fell from a still position because… I was falling asleep. Now I call myself a leader? I started worrying cause I began to recognize that I wasn’t acting okay, there was something wrong but I didn’t know exactly what to pray for. And then I took a nap, when I woke it felt different already. My heart changed on the 2nd session onwards. I had a teachable heart. The testimonies of the speakers would hit me hard, the scriptures I’ve read before felt so new to my ears and peirced my heart as the pastors utter it. I felt like an intense sinner all over again who needed saving. Seriously, I had to repent bigtime for my ugly heart. I cried it out to Him. He humbled my heart again.

Despite my disgusting pride, here’s what He did. My words are not enough to express it. Let the photos speak for itself. 


Hallelujah. He is King. I pray that He breaks my heart and everything filthy in it, that He breaks it for what breaks His. I thank Him for the overflow of wisdom, joy, laughter, tears He poured out to me (once again) on a higher level. Learning doesn’t end, humbling doesn’t end, for my idea of His love for humanity can never fully grasp how much He does. I thank Him for my friends, my brothers and sisters that were part of the retreat in 3 solid days of pruning and strengthening. I am in awe. Jesus, thank You. You give us more grace to stand against such evil desires, You opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble, James 4:6 

Romans 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments and untraceable His ways! 💜:)

Dear Woman


Dear Woman, 

I’m staring at your eyes now and I can glance at your story. I know exactly how you feel. It was the same expression I saw in the mirror not too long ago. I’m not trying to freak you out. I just know. I’ve been there myself. 

I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be in that vicious cycle anymore, but you find it so hard to let go. One morning, you’d wake up and tell yourself you’ll make things right. Two days later, your emotions will eat you up and you’re there again, back in the same toxic situation. You wake up and sleep with a heavy heart. In fact, you lack sleep cause the Spirit hunts you. You ignore it, and then you go and find ways to cover the sorrow. Oh gosh, the world doesn’t run out of bullshit—and because you are blinded, you buy it. You go out, go to work, meet friends, do sports, distract and amuse yourself with empty pleasures and make it seem like nothing is wrong. You think of creative ways on how your life will appear to be pretty and bright on your social media sites. You deceive nothing but the ones clueless of your real situation. You practically deceive everyone because you are the only one who knows you’re actually wretched. You don’t want to share it with anyone, not even to the people closest to you. You ignore the misery. You’re allergic with accountability, afraid people may judge you, not wanting to frustrate anyone, so you stick with your pride, put on the happy mask and role play! 

But your eyes, blame your eyes that I see your secret. Blame it that it cannot hide the intensity of troubles you brought yourself in to. Blame your eyes for not lying, for showing that deep down your core, you know you’re empty, you know that no matter how much you try to make things seem okay it’ll never be okay unless you decide to get out of that toxic life, unless you let go of that sin.

Woman, it’s time to surrender. It’s time to stop doing it your way. I can’t promise you an easy way out, because there’s no shortcut to that. But as you endure, as you obey the path of truth everyday, it’ll get better, the wounds will dry slowly, make sure not to scratch it again, and it’ll eventually heal. Give it to Him, your First Love, remember? Go back to Him and don’t forsake Him anymore. Remember everything He’s done for you and all He’s yet to do if you obey. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge that you are hurting, that you need help, that you need people to pray for you. Don’t be deceived by the enemy’s lie that tells you that you’ll never change. Do not get stuck. That’s not your destiny! You’re meant for greatness! You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are victorious in Christ. Do what you can do to return to Him, do it everyday, it takes deliberate action & daily decision; as you go on you’ll see how He’ll take care of the things unseen. Let His’ grace and mercy take over. Let Him comfort you once again, find rest in Him. He’s waiting. You are redeemed.

Sincerely,

Your Sister in Christ