(These were captured a few minutes after I found out that my visas were approved. Emote!😝) Fifteen years of not being with my family and how I’ve struggled in attempting to get to the United States of America, tapos two weeks ago, finally, binigay na ni Lord yung prayer ko. He gave me both my Crew and Tourist visas. Hallelujah.😌
Fifteen years, & I wouldn’t have it any other way. If it wasn’t fifteen, I would’ve missed the lessons I needed to learn through the years. If it wasn’t fifteen, I’d probably not meet the people I needed to encounter to grow in Spirit and Truth. 2Peter 3:9 says: The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance. I now believe that His’ timing is always perfect, this is a freeing reality and reminder to me each time I’d feel hopeless and impatient with all my prayers. I needed that fifteen years to grow in maturity and in love with Christ. Sabi nga ni Charles Studd, “only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.” Malaking part ng years na naghihintay ako, hindi naman para sa Diyos, but for myself yung prayers ko. Latter part nalang ng fifteen years yung sincerely natutunan kong gawin para sa Diyos ang mga bagay-bagay. Kaya yun, God needed to discipline me, cause the Lord disciplines those He loves diba? He fixed my broken heart first before He granted me His promise. Don’t worry guys, I’m not being hard on myself, sinasabi ko lang yung totoo, ang dami kong selfish passions before, and grateful ako now cause God changed those desires. Dati hindi ko naman love family ko, but by Grace, God enabled me to develop love, care and affection for them. Ang galing. Ang galing ni Lord.
I also wanted to confess this. One of God’s characteristics I find very hard to believe and embrace is Him being my Promise Keeping God, my Provider. I feel like I have a heart similar with Peter at times. Yung I’d be so passionate in doing things for Christ, yung over confident that I will never deny Him, pero feeling ko lang yun, in reality, there’d be so many times na weak yung faith ko. Remember Peter and Christ’s encounter in the book of Matthew 14? Peter asked Christ to come to him on the water right after Christ told Him to take courage, that it is Him, and so Peter shouldn’t be afraid. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
I have faith in Christ, but just like Peter, it could be very tiny too. Madalas kasi I would rely on my own effort, I’d look at the things I can do to serve Him, which will never be enough naman, cause Christianity doesn’t work that way nga. Feeling ko kasi my efforts can sustain, I always have the tendency to get intimidated at the situation instead of looking at God. I had a very small view and understanding of who my God is. It takes a whole lot of grace and a whole lot of faith for my relationship with my Father God to work. I think one of the reasons why I had a lot of failed plans in life is because my faith was very very little. I was more delusional, irrational and emotional at what I wanted for my life then than faithful. My desires then weren’t aligned with God’s will, because they weren’t good desires, because I didn’t know God’s will, I think it’s a huge factor that we know the will of the Lord through the Bible for us to find confidence in our prayers. Pero dati I’d treat Bible only as a self help book, so how would I know the will of God if one sided lang ako? If I’d only pick my favourite verses, kahit out of context, ipagpipilitan ko yung will ko. So I was the god of myself before, consultant ko lang si God dati, ang sad diba? I didn’t revere and honour Him then. I was always entitled and after self glorification. My desires then were meant to drown me, to kill and destroy me. Well, it almost did. Pero wala e, Grace happened. God saved & pulled me out from all my selfish plans.
In a worldly perspective, parang sobrang hassle and sobrang hirap malayo sa pamilya, most especially sa mga magulang. Pero looking at those fifteen years of being away from my family, I kind of see it now as God’s protection. Imagine if natuloy ako sa States fifteen years ago, feeling ko walwal ako ngayon, miserable, and malayo kay Christ yung heart ko. Napaka arte and napaka selfish ko kasing anak dati. Parang, hello? Only child ka? Seven kaming magkakapatid, by the way. Plus I have a half eldest sister pa.
You’re probably wondering why I had to post my visa on social media. To me kasi, it’s more than just a visa, more than just a ticket to the reunion I’ll have with Papa, Mama, my siblings, in laws and my huge family everywhere in the USA. It’s a promise of the Lord for me, a dream I was so sure of and certain with though I do not see it yet. By grace, wag na sana ako ever mag doubt on what He’s capable of doing. By grace, I pray I’d stop putting God in a box as if I got it all figured out, ayoko na maging atribida hehe. By grace, may I rely and trust Him with all my heart, that He won’t leave nor forsake me & my family. By grace, sobrang gusto ko pa ma-inlove kay Jesus, I pray He protects my heart and mind from the distractions of the world that may cause delay to His tasks for me. By grace, may my life glorify Jesus & Him alone.
I’m excited to see my family, to sleep like sardines with all my siblings, to play dress up with Ela & Elo, sing worship songs while Papa plays the guitar, go shopping & learn how to cook with Mama (nux!), workout with Paul, watch NBA with all of them, climb mountains in Hawaii with the Bowman family, attend the G3 conference in Georgia with Ela and so much more!!! I’m excited to love them more and more, by grace, through faith, in Christ!
Praise God for prayers He answered through closed doors. Praise God for developing my patience and perseverance. Praise God for rejections and failed plans. Praise God for answered prayers, for new prayers to pray & for new dreams He will bring to life. Praise God in any and every season. Ultimately, praise God for forgiving all my sins by sending Jesus to die for me.😭 Love You, Father, Son & Spirit!!!
PS We shall update these photos below!!!