Struggle Is Real: devil steals, Jesus Heals 

Sin begins in the head, I agree, I extremely agree. Sin begins as an idea brought to life. Sin begins with doubt, with insecurity, with pride. I’ve been sinning heavily in my head lately, and I’d like to share it now because I don’t want to struggle with lies and fearfully keep it to myself. Expose your sin!!! I want to get rid of this state because I’m very sure those ugly thoughts are no good, it would’ve trapped me to deleteriousness  like it did before. 

For the past 2weeks, I find myself “prospecting” for a potential boyfriend, I know it’s embarrassing and it’s an ugly feeling which probably birthed because I’ve been watching love story stuff lately and I wanted those romantic scenes for my life too. But my heart wasn’t in place, I wanted love wrongly and there came my mind thinking “Lord, pwede na ‘to, he’s kinda cute.” asking “Lord, could he be the one?” My gosh!  This is the least thing I want to think of and WORRY about, but they were lingering in my head! 😭 I caught myself sinning again on this aspect. And it’s my weakness. 

This usually happens when I don’t allot time reading the Bible & praying, and when I’m not surrounded with my family of believers. Lately, I don’t really get to go church and fellowship with my Christian friends. It’s been mostly about work. So I lost track, lost security. It’s amazing that my devotions lately would emphasize a lot about security. It’s what I’ve actually been praying for: to be so secured in Christ that I won’t feel the need of having someone to take care of me not out of pride but simply out of a hear fully satisfied, secured and content with the love I get from Above, from Him. Well, we’ll get there, by God’s grace. But I have to expose and confess this for now so I’ll get my reward in full.

6years single, 1year not dating, and Valentine’s Day is coming. Does my life suck? I’m very very excited as I share this. Last 2 weeks has been a roller coaster ride in my head. I’ve dealt with emotions I haven’t felt in a long time. These are emotions I don’t really like, willing spirit & weak flesh: being attracted at a non-Christian, flirting, compromising, negotiating with God in my head, asking “Lord, could he be the one?”. I never thought I could still actually feel all these. I panicked, (but I think) it was a good kind of panicking cause since I wasn’t feeling peace, I had to call Steffi and Issa, my spiritual leader/friends. I confessed what I was going through and had them pray for me. 

False love makes me out of focus, makes me insecure and self centered, false love makes me very irrational, makes me forget my responsibilities. I forgot I was charging my powerbank the other week because of a guy (I though) I liked. I had a flight to Cebu and it totally didn’t cross my mind to unplug it because I was distracted. Look, that doesn’t seem to make such a big deal to some, but it is to me, cause it’s a symptom already. I hope you don’t get the wrong impression on this, I just really really really wanna be preserved & reserved for my God’s Best. Bible says we have to be careful and sober-minded with our decision making. That moment made me backtrack to all the unworthy thigs I did in the name of FALSE love. Goosebumps! 

Eventually, God answers. Could that someone really be the one? And He clearly showed me a big NO. I began to see that the guy doesn’t seem to match the things in my prayer list. It’s good when you keep a non-negotiable list. It sets the standards, it gets your mind and heart back in place. Praise God for I am more discerning now, and I already get to fight my thoughts. Praise God for friends to pray with and His’ powerful Word that would speak gently yet firmly to me. He assured me in Psalm 121 that He will not allow my foot to slip. He knows I’m weak at this area, and He just wanted me to humble myself and ask for help. He is my Protector and He won’t slumber in guiding & getting me out of trouble. He will protect my life now and forever. 

2 of things to remind us SINGLES this commencing Valentine’s Season and always: 

1) Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, GUARD YOUR HEART, for everything you do flows from it. – Beshy, this is a serious deal. I used to think that tiny sins in my head don’t really matter, but these itsy-bitsy bad ideas led me to huge troubles then. Guarding your heart is an action verb, effort! Stay away from sin, choose your thoughts, confess it to someone who can pray for you. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, when I had those bad thoughts the other week I totally lost my focus, no peace, that’s what the enemy does.  Jesus came that we may have life, and have it abundantly – John 10: 10. It practically felt like Christ fought for me during the two weeks of struggling. He swiftly answered my critical questions. Again, my non-negotiable list on my “God’s Best” helps a lot, it has kept me on standards. Make your own list too! It also made me realize that I really am still worldly in a lot of ways cause I’d get attracted to someone that doesn’t meet what I pray for. That’s what I pray to be changed now! So yeah, it takes deliberate effort to guard your heart.

2) Colossians 3:2 SET YOUR MIND on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. | Romans 8:5-7 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so. — Peace is everything! Only Jesus can give it! If you don’t have peace, think again! Don’t be scared assessing yourself and questioning your thoughts. 

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” -Jesus

Note To Self: You will never perish, no one will snatch you out of Christ’s  hand. May you always find security and fullness of love in Him. GB is yet to come. For now, savor the life of being single and freely, peacefully, joyfully centered in His’ will. 💞 😉  


The Unmarried Wife Aftermath 

I’ve been reserving my thoughts on adultery for a book I wanted to write in the future that I haven’t even drafted yet. But cause I watched such an impactful movie last night, it could no longer wait. Forget about the book. This isn’t a movie review. This is my piece, not out of research, but out of a bold experience. First, let me state that falling in love with a married man was the dumbest, most selfish decision I did, most unloving path I chose, most painful event that ever happened in my life. This proved how filthy and sinful I was, and how much I needed Christ to take over every part of my being. I was so lost, so insecure, so stupid. 

I thought I already knew Christ when it happened. I thought I was already leading people to Him. I was so defensive thinking I wasn’t doing anything wrong. But it unfolded right before my eyes, seeing people in pain and confused because of my hardheadedness,  and deep in my core I did not have joy & peace. It took me months not being able to sleep well, I’d wake up in the middle of the night being hunted by the thought, the TRUTH rather. “Adultery is a sin, it’s a trap, it’s a curse, get out of it.” But I was stubborn, wrestling with God and defending my situation to Him over and over again, and I’d call myself a “mature” Christian then, what a shame! I’d ask for signs. I’d always land on Bible verses telling me to let go, but I wouldn’t. It was so tough. I felt like I was being the ultimate hypocrite for proclaiming the Gospel and not living out His’ 7th commandment: THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY. I battled hard with the Truth, fought so hard, it left me tired & empty. 

Until God’s GRACE came to pull me out of  my sin. He sent people who courageously rebuked and reminded me of my worth in the Him. There were literally a lot of them who prayed and petitioned to Him for me. He’d talk to me through my Bible reading, church services, even podcasts and worship songs. He persistently tells me to surrender, that He has greater and way better plans for me than I had for myself. Again, my plans were very selfish. This blog is an understatement of how Christ, my Lord and Savior miraculously worked in my life on this matter. He pulled me out of sin, pulled me out of adultery. And I couldn’t thank Him enough for the genuine freedom and love that I experience now through Him and the right people He brought to my life to appreciate the unceasing love He has for me through them. 

This goes to you who finds so hard to let go, you may be in a situation similar with my past sin, or you have something/anything else that you believe in your heart God’s telling you to let go of but you couldn’t. I will not lie to you, the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and I know how hard it is. But I beg you, your future is at stake here, just let go. It may not make sense at first, but just let go. It hurts so badly, but let go. God didn’t die for you only to live in a distorted and deceptive love promoted by the world. Surrendering is hard but it will be worth it. Hold on to your faith, to the Gospel, and the only absolute truth. What God has put together, let no man separate. Leave before it’s too late, or even if you feel like it’s too late already, leave anyway. Because God will never bless a relationship He didn’t orchestrate. All His’ plans are GOOD, PLEASING and PERFECT. Choose to obey, choose His’ Master Plan. The hurt, you will be able to endure it because He will be with you, you’re not in that alone, He will be your comfort and strength as you go through the process of letting go, asking for forgiveness, healing, and forgiving yourself. He will never leave nor forsake you. Like He did to me, like He always do.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans6:23

Brace For Impact

Today is November 6, and I’m making a pact not to post this blog unless I’m already sure that I am graduating, that I’ll get my wings and become a full-pledged flight attendant. 

On my previous blog I wrote about how real and serious the struggle is on the process of becoming a cabin crew: Career Tweak. Some of you may think why I’m making such a big deal out of this, Meehn, BECAUSE IT IS A MASSIVE DEAL.😭 Days after I lost in my Bb. Pilipinas 2016 journey I wrote God a letter on the qualities I’d request for the future career He has for me. I never thought this one was it, because I even declared that time that I will never become a flight attendant. That was because of the fear I had in me of failing again; cause back in 2013 I already applied for PAL and failed during the final written exam. I was scared to fail again, like I’m not used to it. But for some gracious reason I still submitted my resume, and to cut the long story short, I’m here now, almost done with my training. What makes it even more favorable is that most of the qualities of the career I requested and wrote on my letter for God, so far, are the exact qualities I see in PAL. No joke!!! 😭 

I prayed for a job with ‘smooth’ transportation, apparently I’m gonna have to ride a car/uber to work; and there’s transportation allowance!😉 I literally also requested for a job that will make me travel the world, do we need to elaborate on this?😆 A job where He’d grant me a mentor who’ll become a friend to me; Sir Patrick De Leon, my trainer, is such a nice & fatherlike-friend to me and my classmates, answered prayer! I prayed also that I will learn to love my job naturally. To be honest, I am the laziest person I know, but by God’s Grace, I’m beginning to enjoy customer service, I am amazed myself on how I could stand and smile at people consistently even if some won’t smile back at ‘cha. Hehe.😅 Another quality of the job I wanted is that I will learn to value and take care of it without valuing it above Jesus in my life, I’d rather die a bum than lose my faith in Him for whatever career that isn’t from Him. So far, PAL brought me closer to the new avenues of Christ’s character. So far, I see peace and feel joy in my heart being here.😌 The testimonies of the senior cabin crews and pursers of PAL excites and encourages me to grow old productively in the company. I know, too early to tell. Well, let’s see!☺️

So why is my title brace for impact? Because no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no human mind has conceived — the amazing plans that the Lord has for the aviation industry, on how He’ll make an impact and how He’ll be known here. Let’s keep this an open secret, who says I’m here to be a flight attendant? Well, of course I must and will still do my duties, don’t get me wrong on that.✌🏻️ But ultimately, here is my open secret: I’m here, not only to serve passengers, but above all to fly until the whole world knows His’ Name. Literally. 
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest and uttermost part of the earth. Acts 1:8

So yeah, my brand new job description: Serving Christ 35,000 feet above the planet Earth, on ground and wherever in the Universe He takes me. Brace for impact. 😉

PS Here’s a photo of the Victorious 25 Cabin Crews of ICCT 16-12 aka the World Changers! Fly with you soon! Congrats to us. To God be all the glory! 💜✈️✝️

Season Of Rest: Almost Over

It’s been 4 months of rest since my Bb. Pilipinas 2016 journey. I’ve had a few modeling gigs as I wait for my ‘regular job’ but I believe the ultimate career I did the past months is being the Lord’s servant (I’m not taking even a pinch of glory on that, this is only and all by His grace). I can’t believe this season is about to end. But before He transitions my life to a new chapter, let me lay down my gratitude piece. 

Yes, this season’s almost done. Four months of unlimited ministry works, prayers, witnessing lives coming to Jesus and getting baptized, fellowshipping, worshipping. Oh nooo… I don’t want to cry. ='( But I’m getting really emotional now cause I’m gonna miss all these. Not that I won’t have/do it anymore, but I’m kind of preparing myself now on the changes that may occur. I don’t really know what the future brings as I begin my brand new week “at work” next week. And to be honest, I’m scared, I’d get anxious. But the Lord commands not to be anxious about anything, and pray about everything instead. Please pray for me too. =( 

On a brighter note, let me count my blessings! There’s literally massive things I wanna thank the Lord for, let me summarize it a bit. 1) I thank Him for the grandest gift He gave me this year: THE FELLOWSHIP – each and every being in it, they know who they are. Their faith and love for Jesus encourages me to fall in love with Him even more. 

2) I thank Him for the many events He allowed me to go to and be part of to experience Him in different avenues: Hillsong Youth Revival concert, Marlann & Christine’s Victory Weekend, True Life Retreat, Nick Vujicic talk, Upperroom Worship Manila Retreat, Nueva Ecija trip with my DGroup, #YesHeIs Gospel Video shoot, Fellowlympics and mooore! 
My seasons of rest has never never been this action-packed and fruitful! It’s overwhelming to be given this glorious opportunity to see lives transform, friendships flourish and people from different walks of life coming to know the goodness of Jesus. I never imagined Him answering my prayers this way. Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom. (Psalm 145:3) 

To my coming season: I may be weak, but my Lord is strong. I may be foolish, but my Lord is wise. I cannot, He can. So bring it on! My Lord will fight for me anyway. Got my eyes on You, Jesus. “Remain in Me and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5) 💜✝

Dear False Lover

Dear False Lover,

Hi. I’ll try to explain this nicest way possible. First, let me go straight to my request — that you keep your distance from me. Let’s be away from each other because there’s a lot of reasons why we would not want to make our paths cross. We are a waste of each other’s time. We don’t complement each other. We pull each other down. We are clearly not meant to be so why in the world will we still put so much effort to something that’s going nowhere? Let’s not be after temporary pleasure just because we’re bored and feeling lonely. I’m begging you to stay away because relationship is my weakness, you don’t want me to be messing up my life, right? You wouldn’t want to see me unproductive, miserably tangled to you and desperately begging that you love me the way I want to be loved. We don’t want to be hurting each other. I don’t want to keep feeling insecure because of the random women you follow on Instagram, especially the ones in bikinis. I can’t argue about that anymore. And your sneaky private messages to other women, it’s exhausting and draining. I can’t change you. Maybe we really have different standards, which validates it more that we are not meant to be. 

Don’t try to call me, don’t pretend you got wrong send with your text messages. Don’t like my social media posts because it affects me. We could just block each other, I think that’ll make us both easily move on. 

I don’t have time to mess up my life. I have my family and friends and the people who need my attention the most. I don’t want to hurt you, anyone and I don’t want to get hurt too, not anymore. I become selfish when I think of you, I focus on myself and how I’ll please you, how you’ll adore and notice me. It sucks. It’s not my duty to pursue you. Love doesn’t work that way.

Don’t try to justify that you’re the right one for me. You’re not. Love doesn’t lie, it doesn’t make you feel less valued, it doesn’t rush, it’s not kept in the dark, it’s not just you and I, it advances people’s lives and inspires many. Ours doesn’t. It’s always a struggle trying to keep up with how you want us to be. I always try to be in control too, inorganic. I don’t have peace and joy. Where’s the Lord’s blessing right there?  

I hope your life goes well, that you don’t hurt any woman whether intentionally or unconsciously. Don’t get yourself hurt too. May you have the consistent integrity to pursue Christ not just by words, but through actions. May you learn to make a stand for a woman, singular, just one, the one you will courageously love and spend the rest of your life with.

With me, I’ll try my best to do the same. I’ll improve my life and enjoy being single until God’s Best comes. I’ll embrace my solo season, won’t be flirting and dating around. I’ll keep my guard up. And I begin right now. 

Farewell to you. Jesus loves you.

(Insert Name)

25 Things I Learned Before Turning 26

Thank you for the birthday greetings everyone! I’d like to share the 25 things God taught me this year.

  1. Pray without ceasing. Ewan ko nalang kung hindi pa makulitan sakin si Lord and i-grant and birthday prayers ko. 😀FullSizeRender
  2. “As you draw closer to God, you will know your specific calling.” Knowing the Lord isn’t like a cough medicine that you only take when you have cough. To know Him is like drinking water, for to know Him is essential. And by drawing near Him (by reading my Bible, praying, surrounding myself with people who graciously follow Him) I am able to understand better what He’s called me to be.
  3. God answers our deepest wants. Photo below is me and my cousin, Ate Carla. After more than a year since the time we pleaded to God for her prayer request, God has finally answered it! She’s engaged and she’s getting married on March in Hawaii, USA. God’s so good! #SaTamangPanahon 😉  FullSizeRender 7
  4. Adultery is a sin. Flee from it. The Lord hates it.
  5. I am nothing without Jesus. This year was  very heavy and painful for me. It stretched my faith and crushed my filthy heart. And I thank God for allowing the pain, really. I needed that holy crushing!
  6. Christmas is about Him. Not me, not the gifts I receive, not the people I spend it with. It’s the joy and peace of having the greatest Gift for all humanity.
  7. I shall smile often. Hahaha because I wouldn’t. He would teach this yearly and I keep relearning it and I hope I get to apply it this time around. 😀
  8. Be patient. Sa madaming aspeto! Greater things are coming.
  9. Pain is temporary. Yep! Next year, I won’t be as emotional as I was this year. Nakakapagod umiyak! Will save the tears for precious moments. Hehe
  10. In Jesus, I can do all things. I am able to love selflessly (by His’ grace) even if it was a HUGE struggle, for true love submits to the Lord’s will.
  11. He taught me to count my blessings, not my mistakes. Think of at least three things to thank God for in a day, learned this from my friend Steffi.
  12. When He blesses, there is no SIN. My neighbor, Pastor Elo taught me this. He grants us our prayers peacefully. Walang kasalanan na nakalakip!
  13. I’m blessed. I have my FAMILY, the Rabajante’s, my Gift It family, the Fellowship, the DGroup, my SMG family, my Tuesday VGroup, C/B, my mentors. I’m blessed with my brothers and sisters in Christ who would constantly remind me of His’ love!
  14. I’m forgiven. And free! Relearned this one too. I asked for forgiveness to some people I hurt this year and the past years, and they forgave me. Ang liberating ng feeling, sobra. Thank you, Lord.
  15. I shall dream again. Don’t let go of the dreams I had, rebirth ’em!
  16. He made me appreciate friendship this year. My friendship with Issa, Ate Ann, Ate Monica, Ate Mitch (x2), Kris, Steffi and more!IMG_0803
  17. Obedience is better than sacrifice. 
  18. Intimacy is the key! I think one of the nicest decisions I did this year is to make a new Facebook account to intentionally get intimate and updated with the people I care for the most. It’s a marvelous feeling! 😉
  19. Closed doors are answered prayers. Move on!
  20. Life isn’t about your status in life, not your job, not your paycheck, not the brand of your clothes, jewelries you wear. It cannot give you the contentment that only Jesus gives.  -Camz
  21. “Its true, the heart is the most wicked. Think 100 times before believing it! Healing takes time and prayers. Be patient. Give yourself time and give TIME some time. Each day offers a new beginning, a new chance to become a better person. Always believe in God’s divine plan for your life. Always have courage and start your day with a prayer. Every time you’re feeling down, always PRAY. Be dependent on the Lord. Seek His’ will in every moment.” – IssaFullSizeRender 9
  22. It’s okay to be vulnerable. Be vulnerable when you have to! – the book, Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge taught me this.FullSizeRender 12
  23. Your labor for the Lord is not in vain. – God proved me this on the day of my birthday. So many testimonies and answered prayers for my best friends! And more to come!IMG_0903
  24. “Pag mahal ka, babalikan ka.” – Learned this from my favorite teleserye, OTWOL!  😀
  25. It’s all about Him, it has always been and will always be about Him. This year, He multiple-proved me how much He needed to die on the cross for me 2,000 years ago. Ang sakit-sakit ng year 2015 for me! Kaya hindi ako magsasawang magpasalamat Sa’Yo Lord dahil patuloy mo akong pinapatawad, binabago at binibigyan ng pag-asa. 

Thank you, Jesus. ❤


Davao: DCCFI and a Buffet of Generosity

(October 2015)

I’ve only been to Davao twice, first time I went there was 1st quarter of this year to judge an audition for a national environmental advocacy pageant for teens and kids. And my 2ndtime was last month, this time it was still for kids, but for cancer patient kids. Working for GAVA Technologies, as a Marketing Associate, my task is to hunt for Charity Foundations that may partner with our generosity mobile app Gift It to make donations easier for them.

One of the foundations my team and I are honored to close partnership with is Davao Children’s Cancer Fund, Inc.. DCCFI is where children with cancer aren’t just mere patients but they are nurtured and treated as family in the House of Hope where they are sheltered and fed during and after their treatment. I have witnessed myself how cancer patients there are being treated with so much significance, how much they are encouraged to live long, strong and healthy through different activities. They have a play room, rooms where they may study, they read Bible stories, they eat together like a big family, and they hang out at the nipa huts and live normally. I’ve also seen how DCCFI keep the parents/guardians of the patients happy and active through a Zumba class which they conduct twice a week. Another thing I won’t forget about DCCFI is their value for sanitation, you’ll see hand sanitizers all over the place which they have implemented for years as part of their health care. They also have a no-shoe policy inside the House of Hope, and I noticed how much they have kept the place clean and orderly which I believe is very beneficial for the kids. Indeed, prevention is better than cure.

Before I went to that trip, I already conditioned myself that I will be serving for I thought it was all purely a business trip. But miraculously, in my 2 days of stay there together with my bosses we were unexpectedly the ones served. Mind you, it wasn’t just a one meal kind of blessing that we received, it was a buffet of surprises and generosity of the Davaoenos that we encountered. DCCFI gave us a warm welcome, they have really nice volunteers and staff, they served us good lunch and afternoon snacks. Dra Mae Dolendo, despite her busy schedule still managed to tour us around the hospital. DCCFI president, Mr.Eric Rubinos and his’ wife also generously spent their time with us and exchanged good conversations. What was shocking to me was the opportunity given to our team to meet Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, thanks to Dra. Mae Dolendo for introducing him to us. The week before I went to Davao I seriously wrote in my prayer request that I wanted a selfie with him. Funny because I didn’t just get a selfie, I got to take a lot of photos with him, my team and I were able to spend 5 compressed hours with him, and his’ friends. He treated us for dinner, and generously shared his’ thoughts, ideas, and stories on how he strategized in changing Davao and how he would like to change the nation. He is my sentimental future president. I see so much integrity, humility and dignity in him.

But wait, there’s more! The night didn’t end with Mayor Duterte’s insightful talk. He invited and toured us at Davao City Hall wherein it was my first time to find out that there is an actual Emergency 911 in the Philippines. He showed us how Davao Security works through the CCTV cameras & and the huge and astonishing tv monitors, we were also able to see their rescue facilities, it felt like watching CSI being in that tour. No wonder why Davao is rated as one of the safest cities in Asia.

After the City Hall tour, we went to Marco Polo for a midnight coffee and chocolate drink for more chitchats and sharing of Davao stories. Before we parted ways, Mayor Duterte asked that we extend our stay and even offered that he’ll take care of our plane tickets and hotel accommodation, but since we couldn’t say yes he just gave us a consolation to his’ offer, which I personally do not consider as a consolation. It was grand. In the afternoon of our 2nd and last day in Davao, he made us ride the chopper to the beautiful island of Samal and treated us buffet lunch.

At night another surprise generosity came to us given by Ms. Fe of Care for the Elderly Foundation, just when we were about to shop for fruits to bring home to Manila, she sent our team each a box of assorted rambutan, lanzones and pomelo fruits. And before we flew back to manila we got a free dinner at an Italian restaurant treated by my boss’ friend, he also courteously brought us to the airport.

Yes, you may call it an overly favored weekend! Who would have thought it all happened in two days, in days you never expected to be given so much generosity by people you do not even know. The Lord really has His’ creative and sneaky ways of blessing us, and that experience encouraged me to give more and to make it normal in my system. Receiving favors made me feel really delighted but I’m sure those who blessed me and my team were even more joyful and fulfilled for nothing beats a generous heart.

A job I don’t complain about


Yay! An answered prayer this week! I’ve been praying for gigs because I’ve missed modeling, and I’m thankful that He gave me one immediately. The day before I went to the taping of My Fair Lady, a show in TV5, I was very excited and I prayed for so much grace and energy because I knew I was only going to get a few hours of sleep, I slept at 1AM, woke up at 4AM for a 6AM calltime in Novaliches, the taping was packed up at about 2AM the next day. I practically worked for almost 24 hours but I couldn’t complain. I asked for it. Plus, I highly enjoyed doing it.

I played as a model for a fashion show competition of Jasmine Curtis.

FullSizeRender 4It was my first time to wear a wedding gown for a show, and it was really heavy! I hope my future marriage will give me the opposite feeling. Hehe.  FullSizeRender 5

The awkward bride’s smile. 😀


At the dressing room with my co-models and Phoemela Beranda, playing as the show’s host.

IMG_9010 IMG_9061

I’ll be very honest here, since my entire blog is themed as a “no pressure” blog, what I meant with no pressure is to “be still”, and with being still comes being comfortable, being yourself, knowing what you want, doing it, and trusting Him above all on areas in my life that may still be a blur. I kind of appreciate my writing now, despite the inconsistencies of my feelings, I still feel accurate and positive about this page because I know He’s the One mentoring and molding me as I write and release all these ideas and thoughts.

So here’s the highlight of my honesty. (That was a long introduction hahaha). It has always been my dream to be in the show business industry. And this time, I’m sure that I really want it. And I won’t be shy about it anymore. I don’t know if a big break will ever come but at this moment, I am okay doing tiny gigs like this one. I want to perform well at whatever will be on my plate. I want to observe and learn more things, of course not just on the aspect of entertainment but also on the spiritual side of it. I always-always-and-FOREVER believe that God is the orchestrator of everything, my shows and gigs are always on His’ call. It’s up to Him to give and take away.

Point is, I guess if He will give me my beauty queen dreams, I’d definitely be glad. If He wants me to be an actress, that’s fine too. Or maybe to be a movie director, a scriptwriter, a marketing manager, I won’t complain. I like any of it – – – for as long a s I have His’ peace and His’ joy, for His’ Name’s sake, I’ll do it!

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful. – John 14:27

Wow. Such a treasure statement! It’s like a password to success, a cracked code! He does not give what the world gives. He’s the only one capable of handing us peace, serenity, tranquility! So there’s no more rushing in running after our dreams, no more short cuts, or even complacency. We just keep our eyes on Him, trust His’ timing, follow His’ ways, and we will never complain about our lives. We won’t be troubled or fearful. We just do our part, and do it the best way we can to GIVE HIM GLORY.


So yeah. This is a job I ultimately cannot and do not complain about: to enjoy His’ gloriousness in my life and see it in the lives of the ones I love and the people He makes me encounter each and every single day. To have this peace in my heart, be always grateful and thankful for the blessings He has for me. Even in the long periods of waiting, I will hear Him, I will see things beautifully, I will actively and passionately be pursuing Him and searching for Him in every task I get, because I can do all things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME. You can too! We are all given the same privilege, go ahead take & enjoy yours! Take Christ! ❤

GIFT IT: Change the way you Gift


What’s crucial and complicated in this day and age is sometimes we are obliged to promote something because it’s our job to do so, even if we are not really convinced of a certain “claim”, “brand” or “product”, we do promote them because it is part of our job. But I’m not really like that, I’m stubborn and meticulous when it comes to sharing and promoting something. Many times, I would be asked to share/post stuff on Instagram/Facebook but I won’t do it because I do not see an eternal value to what I am being asked to post. I highly believe that you cannot promote anything you do not believe in. You shouldn’t. You will most likely end up lost and confused if you believe in a lot of things, you miss your vision and mission in life, your feeds get flooded with just whatever the world presents to you. That’s why I rub in “eternal value” right here, for it is my standard of promotion and marketing. Sadly, there are a lot of viral things in our world today that are highly marketed without eternal value.

I am blessed to have been given the opportunity to work for a company that (I personally believe) has an eternal cause, GAVA Technologies Inc. is a mobile app factory that has birthed a brilliant app called GIFT IT.


Gift it enables someone to give to Charity, Friend, or Self using personalized campaigns. Gift campaigns can be items from online shops or charitable programs from subscribed foundations. More than a social gifting app, Gift it encourages families and friends to make a difference, to be just better people… together.

The vision of the app is to help more people help more people.

Gift It may be downloaded very soon in the App Store. Be privileged to choose the foundation program/s closest to your hearts! There are causes for Calamities, Animals, Cancer Patients, Child Care, Community, Education, Elderly Care, Environment, Health & Sanitation, Humanitarian, Livelihood, Medical Assistance, Rehab Assistance and Women.

I believe in generosity, in thoughtfulness, in giving. I believe in it because I have witnessed and experienced it, myself from the Ultimate Giver of all good things. For God so loved the world that He gave His’ One and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have an eternal life. Such an underrated truth! And just like the truth of Jesus Christ dying to free us from our sins, is also a truth that a lot of people need our generosity, Gift It app is created as a perfect medium for us to exercise our generous muscles.

Let’s Gift together!

For foundation referrals, you may email:

Stay tuned for more updates, like GIFT IT on Facebook:

Follow GIFT IT on Instagram and Twitter: @giftit_app

Season: Sick, Healed and Restored

So I thought It was just a regular fever, I was wrong. I had DENGUE FEVER. And for lack of a better word, well, dengue is a b*tch, excuse my impoliteness. It was a 1 week sick ride. My on and off fever started on Saturday, had my check up and confirmed it was dengue Wednesday morning, went to 3 different hospitals near my area only to find out they couldn’t admit me because the rooms are full and most of the cases of the patients’ sickness are the same as mine. I went to Medical City but after an hour of waiting for laboratory tests, they advised me to go home because my platelet count increased (cause of the Tawa-Tawa tea I drank according to my Yaya’s theory). But the morning later it gone worse, I got red spots allover my body, really bad head & stomach ache, and heavy eyes. These are some of the symptoms of dengue. Thursday afternoon, I finally got admitted to Lourdes Hospital in Manila, referred by my boss who also had her child admitted there because of the disease.

Let me tour you to how a single mosquito bite crazily inflicted and affected my life for a week:

So these were the spots I had. I also had some on my legs.

In the emergency room, feeling sad.


Thank God I’m not that afraid of multiple injections, they had to get my blood samples a lot of times to monitor my platelet count. They call it complete blood count aka CBC test.


In the Xray room, had my chest examined.


I thought ultrasound was just for pregnant women, they had to do this to me because my stomach ache wouldn’t go away. They found out that my gallbladder expanded which they assumed was effect of dengue, but they said normally it should’ve been the liver that’s affected.


And so they injected this antibiotic into my dextrose.


My thoughts were going wild on my 1st night in the hospital. I was getting paranoid and I couldn’t help but ask God why He was allowing that sickness to happen to me. My emotion was eating me up, thinking about the hospital bills, the things I’m missing out at work, my family, my diet plans that I would mess up and a whole lot of crazy worries which apparently weren’t from the Lord. One night as I do my devotion, I believe the Holy Ghost pointed me to this verse: “May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13. I don’t know, but for some reason I felt empowered when I read and meditated on this passage. Plus, He gave me practical reasons to hope. I have my prayer warriors, Kris, Ate Mitch, Alyanna, Tita Iris, Ate Monica, Issa, Miss Ann and more! My family in the USA and in Singapore are providing for my hospital bills, while my Tita Naning lend me an advance fee.

My beloved yaya, Ate Tas took care of me from day1 until I got discharged. She was my entertainer, my runner, my personal nurse, my prayer partner! I love her!


Who said I wouldn’t be able to have a Halloween Costume Party this year? Surprise! Steffi and Tasha visited me in cutie Batman and Snake costume. They brought some donuts and prayed for me.


Ate Mitch and Kuya Em also came to visit and passionately prayed for me. We even had a small Bible Study session, they shared to me today’s church preaching on having JOY by choosing to be led by the Spirit and pursuing righteousness. I also miraculously felt the Spirit’s healing when Ate Mitch touched my stomach, the heavy pain I had disappeared when she laid her hands on me, as in gone, no more, and I could breathe well now. I have never experienced Jesus Christ this way before. In this season, He is my Jehovah-Rapha, indeed! And what moved me with the prayer of Kuya Em, that’s been impressed to him by the Lord: that I do not have to do anything, neither to prove anything, that I can simply delight in His’ presence, that I just need to continue to seek Him first and all shall be added unto me. It was an amazing reminder, and it really liberated my heart and my mind from thinking too much. I am full of joy. I love this couple!


Next, came my beautiful-clever-cheesy-cousin! And she also came with a surprise! It’s overwhelming. =’)

IMG_8458 IMG_8453 IMG_8468

Some of the blessings I received in my season of being healed from dengue and being healed in Spiritual and Emotional aspects weren’t captured by the camera. Like my Kuya JP and Kuya Loi’s efforts, my family who didn’t stop interceding for me, my Crazy/Beautiful and Fellowship Viber groups. And more and more things I wanna share, like my birthed desire in praying for the sick because I have experienced suffering from sickness myself. And I have graciously learned to rejoice and be glad in it.

Maybe this is what they call the unexplainable joy. I want to own and inflict this for the whole month of November, for the rest of the year and for the rest of my life.

“And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” Mark 5:34 It shall be done according to my faith. I am healed and restored in the name of Jesus. 🙂