Where Are You Now?

Discipleship requires discipline, and that is one thing I desperately need. I can get consistently inconsistent with my walk. For a season, you’d find me so excited learning about Theology & sharing the Gospel, a few months later, I’d be so drawn at Netflix or some drama-series that distracts me from studying the Word & loving people, and then here comes social media luring me to jump into things that would make me want Christ less; stuff that lead me to “self” instead of being drawn to Him. I’m like an infant at times, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching. My attention span on my interests won’t grow, because the foundation of why I want to do or pursue something, may also be shallow, may not be rooted in Christ, may only have birthed from selfish desires.

I told my mentor-discipler-sister-friend the other week that I do struggle at the same embarrassing things lately. I can’t seem to balance life well. I’d feel lonely and sad. I feel like I’m dragging myself to do what I ought to do for God, connecting with people, but what I truly (desperately) need is a strong connection with Him. I seriously just need Jesus. I must remain in Him, cause I obviously cannot live this life apart from His guidance. I need His Word to teach me, encourage and rebuke me. The Bible has been guiding me for almost 8 years now, and there’s no other way my life would go on a fruitful path if it weren’t for His wisdom and grace. Jesus said “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:10-11) The consistency of my progress depends on my gracious dependency in Christ. I’d feel sad and lonely when I don’t anchor my joy in Jesus, and my joy may only be satisfied and completed in Him. He’s just always the answer to my dilemmas. Oh how consistent my God is! It’s hard, but I want to consciously not conform to the patterns of the world, to consciously be transformed by the renewing of my mind, to be able always see that His plans are all good, all pleasing, all perfect.

Resurrection Sunday went by, and it is always a beautiful reminder to me of Christ’s glory & my existence. I’m not talking about my purpose, the books/blogs I’ve read, nor the people I shared Christ to. Those are actually filthy rags in His eyes. I’m talking solely about why I’m a Christian, that’s because Jesus came to die for my sins, and since the day I learned about it and embraced Him not only as my Saviour but also my Lord, I also learned that I will only grow deeper in my love and adoration for Him, by grace, through faith. I learned and believed that He resurrected & He’s coming back, that cannot be thwarted, that’s consistent.

A good friend just shared this quote from Steve Lawson to our group: “A life of resolve comes with a price tag. You will be tested by the lure of the world. But you must turn a deaf ear to the crowd and live instead for the approbation of Christ. There will always be a cross before a crown, sacrifice before success, and reproach before a reward. The call of discipleship will cost you popularity, possessions, and position. But God will use your commitment. The grace of God will be multiplied in you if you cultivate a fixed resolution to live for the glory of God.” -Steven Lawson

I feel blessed that God still constantly pulls me out from my stubbornness each time I’m about to deliberately rebel as if I can hide my thoughts and intentions from Him. He consistently works in me despite my inconsistency in following Him. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans’ 5:8

I’ve wasted so much seasons in my life, especially back in my high school and college years, when I didn’t know Jesus yet. But actually, in Christ, there isn’t a wasted season. He can turn bad, displeasing and ugly things into something beautiful. Though I’ve felt deep regret for the wrong decisions I’ve made, it doesn’t get to a point where I’d be condemned about it, but doesn’t meant too that I can take my salvation for granted. Bible says work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I know life on Earth is never meant to be perfect, but in Christ, I believe it is possible to live in joy, peace and freedom from sin’s slavery. I want that. And I want to continue to pass that on and share with my family & whoever I encounter along the way, perhaps to my own family in the future too. At this point in time, I pray that I won’t have any regrets as I look back to where I am now. I sincerely pray to live out this life for Christ’s glory. If not, my gosh, I’d be fooling no one but myself.

I love Jesus, I’m very public about this. My identity is solely tied on this reality, cause I know deep down that I truly am nothing apart from Him. But I want this to be evident not for people to see, but for me to sincerely know it in my heart. That even if I don’t say a word, that even without the world noticing it, I’d be so confident with my love for Him. I just want to love Him right. I want to grow in this faith. I want to find delight & satisfaction in Him everyday. I pray I’d constantly be disgusted at sin that it would always lead to true repentance. I want to continue to serve Him until I grow old, and still find joy in it. I want to be used only for His glory. I don’t want to take my salvation for granted. I pray for all these in Jesus’ most powerful, merciful, gracious and loving Name.

“Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We have also obtained access through Him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:1-5

Here you go, this has been my walk lately. May the Lord have mercy on me and refresh me. May I find joy and satisfaction in Him.

“He must increase, I must decrease.” John 3:30

23 Notes To Ponder On

In random order.

1. May we not be narcissistic in reading the Bible. May we have Christ centred hermeneutics. – The American Gospel (https://youtu.be/ocHm18wUAGU)

2. Catechism is something I want to teach my nieces and nephews and my future children. https://reformed.org/documents/index.html?mainframe=https://reformed.org/documents/cat_for_young_children.html

3. No matter how strong or clever you are, you are not your own saviour. You are not your own redeemer. That’s a dead end if you’re going to depend on your own strength and your own wisdom. -Dr. Bryan Chapell

4. What is the only reason that sin has any power in your life? The answer is… because you love it. – The American Gospel

5. The goal of a lecture is that you leave with information. The goal of a motivational speech is that you leave with action steps. The goal of a GOSPEL SERMON, teaching the Bible is that you leave worshipping. – J.D. GREEAR

6. The feeling of pleasure that comes after retail therapy is always short-lived. Ego always looks for something else and wants something more. -Pick Up Limes (YouTube)

7. To everyone who wants a safe, carefree life, away from danger, stay away from Jesus and His great commission. – G3 Conference 2019

8. Right where you are could be your possible mission field atm. Some, are called to go, others would have to stay, and go where they stay. Bible says go to the unreached, how sure are you that your colleague, your neighbour, you brother already heard the Gospel? – Just me.

9. “Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes.” “Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.” 1Peter 3:3-4 — GRACE, PLEASE.

10. Better to be single for the rest of your life & obeying God in the gleaning of the fields than disobey God and have what has been forbidden to you. – probably heard this from Voddie Baucham

11. This is so beautiful but I forgot where I read it from. So sorry. But here it goes: It’s through the deepest suffering that God has taught me the deepest lessons. If we trust Him for it, we can come into an unshakable assurance that He’s in charge, He has a loving purpose, and He can transform something terrible into something wonderful.

“Father,

I love You. I lay down all that I am before you, my Lord. Every regret, pain, joy, I lift them all to you. Enable me through Your Holy Spirit to offer all of me to You. I want to be living my life for Your glory. I want to love selflessly and find delight in doing so. I pray to not lose track of Your Grace. You have brought me this far, and You will take me further and deeper in this Christian faith. I am rededicating myself to You. Help me, Almighty Father. Comfort me, sustain me, strengthen me, heal me. Enable me to move forward with joy and gladness. Enable me to act upon every lesson you have taught and are yet to teach me. Keep my eyes on You, the author and perfecter of my faith. Protect and guide and save all my loved ones. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.”

12. You are not a piece of meat to satisfy the sinful, fleshly desires of a man. -Voddie Baucham

13. If you are so committed to feeling safe, how will you ever risk your life for Jesus? If you are so fragile and cowardly, that you will shut down those who love you by speaking hard truth to you, how will you speak love to those who hate you? – John Piper

14. The consumption of social media, movies, entertainment, demands of career, the quest to consume more and more entertainment, toys, money, travel — DO NOT SATISFY. A life devoted to consumption consumes life. – J. Piper

15. With boldness therefore at the throne, Let us make all our sorrows known, And ask the aid of heavenly power, To help us in the evil hour. – Hymn from Hebrews

16. “The mercy of God is an ocean divine, a boundless and fathomless flood.” Let us plunge out into the mercy of God and come to know it. I hope you believe this, because you’re going to need this mercy desperately if you don’t already have it. The mercy of God in Christ Jesus — amen and amen! -A.W. Tozer

17. “Self-chosen silence is the new expression of social empowerment in the digital age. Silence is freedom.” https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/why-we-should-escape-social-media

18. Question: What’s your fear? Me, to live in a place where my sins aren’t confronted and my false decisions are tolerated. I think one of the reasons why I evidently see why my faith is ALL GRACE is because God surrounded me with people who truly cared to tell me what was wrong & told me that I was sinning.

19. For the greatest way to achieve social and cultural transformation is not by focusing on social and cultural transformation, but by giving our lives to gospel proclamation — to telling others the good news of all God has done in Christ and calling them to follow Him. The fruit of such salvation will be inevitable transformation — of lives, families, communities and even of nations. -Marshall Segal

20. If Christian dating—the intentional, selfless, and prayerful process of pursuing marriage—sounds like slavery, we don’t get it. If low-commitment sexual promiscuity sounds like freedom, we don’t get it. Jesus may ask more of us, but he does so to secure something far better for us. -Marshall Segal “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him” (Phil. 3:8–9)

21. This was from NextGen KIDS CHURCH! : Truth that hurts is always better than lie that conceals, that will stress you out, won’t put you to sleep & destroy your relationships. To live in a lie is to lead one to eternal destruction.

22. Our total depravity means we are in need of a perfect Savior who is able to do what we cannot do for ourselves – and the good news of the Gospel is that such salvation is available to us in the Son, Jesus Christ, who is the holy God incarnate. We may be wretched, but we can still rejoice and be sanctified. Paul affirms this in the latter part of Romans 7: “Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!” I couldn’t put it any better myself. Total depravity is a doctrine of grace because the abounding grace of God Himself is the only hope that we have. -Whole Magazine Devotion

23. AKALA KO

Napakarami, napakaraming bagay na aking inangkin na inakala ko’y nakalaan para sa akin. Napakalawak ng kasakiman at kasamaang nananalaytay sa aking pagkatao. Napakalalim ng sugat na pilit na pinapagaling sa oras na hindi pa nararapat ang paghilom. Napakadaming pagkakataon na aking pinalagpas sa bawat segundong ako’y Kanyang hinahabol, habang ako ay patuloy na nagpupumiglas sa Kanyang gracia’t kabutihan.

Rebelde lamang noong umpisa, hanggang sa nalulon na sa sistema ng mundo, nagpakaputa, nagpakawala, nagpa-alipin sa dimonyo. Napakamakasalanan ko, tanging alikabok at lugmok ang nararapat sa aking marupok na pagkatao.

Wala na akong pag-asa, wala ng magandang kinabukasan ang nag-aabang. Wala ng mukhang maihaharap sa Kanya, wala ng hininga, tanging maiaalay ay ang pagod na katawan, matang namumugto sa bigat ng luha na humagod sa mukhang hindi na maipinta. Wala na akong pag-asa. Wala ng saysay ang aking buhay. Yan, yan ang akala ko.

Akala ko’y walang kapatawaran ang aking mga kasalanan. Ako’y nagkamali. Sa gitna ng aking pagkakadapa, sa lalim ng pighati, sa bigat ng pagsisisi sa aking puso, Siya’y nagpakilala. Ako’y ibinangon sa pagkakadapa, sinagip, iniligtas. Ang kabayaran ng kasalanan ay kamayayan, ngunit ang biyaya ng Panginpon ay walang hanggang buhay sa pamamagitan ni Hesu Kristo, aking Diyos at Tagapagligtas.

•••

Mapagpala at Maaawaing Ama, maraming salamat sa kapatawaran ng aking mga kasalanan. Maraming salamat sa bagong buhay na akin ng tinatamasan simula ng ako’y nagsisi sa aking mga kasalanan at inihandog sa Iyo ang aking buhay. Lahat yan ay dahil sa Iyong Garcia. Hindi ko kailanman matutumbasan ang Kabutihan mo, at mababayaran ang lahat ng pagkukulang ko. Ngunit sadyang napakabuti Mo, sapagkat Ikaw mismo ang gumawa ng paraan upang ako’y hindi manatili sa imprerno.

Espiritu Santo, ako’y Iyong patuloy na tulungan at gabayan, palalimin ang kaalaman sa Iyong salita at piliin lagi ang Iyong gawa. Sa pamamagitan mo lamang aking magagampanan ang tungkulin na bigyang pugay ang Iyong pangalan, palaganapin ang mabuting balita, mahalin ang mga taong kagaya ko. Makasalanan, na nailigtas dalawang libong taon ang nakakalipas ni Hesu Kristo, na inialay ang Kanyang dugo’t katawan, ipinako sa Krus upang pagbayaran ang kasalanan ng sanlibutan, nabuhay muli pagkalaan ng tatlong araw, bumalik sa Ama, at muling bababa sa lupa balang araw, para husgahan ang mundo.

Ako’y umaasa, wala ng pagaakala, tanging kasiguraduhan at pananampalaya ang kinakapitan ng aking buong diwa. Ang bawat luha ay mawawala, ang bawat sakit ay mapapawi, balang araw ay habang buhay kong makakasama ang aking Diyos.

May pag-asa. Sa ngalan ng Ama, ni Hesu Kristo, at ng Espiritu Santo. Amen.

What I’ve learned from losing Ate Tas

It’s all brand new to me. I’ve experienced losing my grand parents, a cousin, some friends, they were painful, but not as painful as this one. Ate Tas was the best nanny/yaya/2nd mother to me and my 6 siblings. She served my family for 36 years, that’s the age of my eldest sister is. She already is family to us. She was my guardian for the past 15years I wasn’t with my parents. Among all the Rabajante’s, Kuya JP & I were the ones who spent the most years with her.

Ate Tas was present at the peak of my sinfulness, she witnessed most of it, & yet still loved and took care of me despite all the bad things I would do. Before I came to know Christ, I would disrespect her, shout at her, be very impatient with her, I’d take her for granted. When I knew the love of Jesus, I’d tell my discipleship group how I’d still struggle in loving her though I already know what to do. When I learned from my brother, a year ago, that she was diagnosed with depression and she was beginning to be forgetful (she had dementia), that became my turning point. I remember I was at a training when I found out about it, I couldn’t concentrate in class, went to the bathroom, and begged God to give me a chance to show her how much I love her. He answered my prayers. I began to develop deeper love and care for her, which I thank God for so much. I am only truly able to love Ate Tas because of the love of Christ Jesus.

I like how we spent the last 2 quarters of 2018 together. We’d go to different malls, I’d take her to most of my meetings, go to church, eat & eat & eat everywhere. I am also grateful that I would sleep next to her when I visit home. But my favourite moment with her were our one on one conversations about Jesus. I remember telling her that I love her and I told her too that I’m sorry for all the bad things I did to her in the past. I asked her if she’s afraid of death and told her not to be afraid because if she belongs to Jesus, she will spend eternity in Heaven, where there will no longer be pains and sufferings. I asked if she’s sorry for all her sins, she said yes. I asked if she believes in Christ as her Lord and Savior, she said yes. I asked who is her God, she uttered, Jesus. She prayed a short yet very heartfelt prayer. We cried, we hugged. And to me, that was the most important moment I had with her.

I thank Jesus for allowing it to happen. Truly, to live is Christ, to die is gain. Ate Tas may not have read the Bible as much as other Christians would, but her life exemplified Christlikeness in so many ways. Many people could attest to that. I still find it unbelievably amazing that while I have so many desires and dreams in life, there’s this one person who has no other desire but to serve my family, take care of us & be such a joyful helper to everyone around her. God wrote her such a wonderful story & left such beautiful lessons to me, our family & hers.

Losing her inspires me to value my family even more. To make time & truly spend time with them. Losing her inspires me to give generously, Ate Tas is one of the most generous people I know. Losing her makes me want to draw even more closer to Jesus, the only One who can help me through the process of grieving and healing. I haven’t had a broken heart in a while now, and I am sure that this is a beautiful brokenness that I am going through. Losing her taught me empathy, for people who lose their loved ones. Ang sakit pala talaga. Most importantly, it is making me understand that I didn’t really lose her. It would be very selfish of me if I’d still want her to stay, my God is sovereign, He gives and takes away, and His timing is always perfect, I trust God that even the very moment of Ate Tas’ death was meant to be the way it happened. Losing her makes me pray more, trust and glorify Him more. I trust in Jesus, one day, I’ll come see Ate Tas face to face again and thank her for everything she’s done for me. One day, our whole family will be giving Jesus glory and worship Him together. That’s my faith, and it’s not a dead faith, for it is anchored to the King of kings and the Lord of lords.

Ate Tas, mahal na mahal na mahal kita, but nothing compares to Christ’s love for you. Rest in Jesus Christ’s everlasting love now! See you one day, Tazic!

Father Almighty, pilot me.

Guide me.

Help me.

I trust in You.

9 Words of Encouragement to Struggling Single Women (by Reformed Theological Women)

(October 18, 2018)

Yesterday, I asked my sisters in Christ from all over the world in a Reformed Theological Women group I’m in regarding a personal concern, my usual struggle, “Singleness X Marriage”. I’d like to share with you the heartwarming godly advices I received, just in case you do have the same heart concerns as mine. I hope it encourages you as much as it has encouraged me.

This was my question:

Any advise for a single, 28yr old woman, who feels like she’s still struggling with trusting God with her desires for marriage?

That’s actually me. I’m aware this is part of my sanctification. I just wanna know if anyone can relate, how do you deal with all your friends getting engaged/married, while you’re trying to get rid of self pity?

Please pray for perseverance. Please pray that I truly trust Him. I feel like this struggle is too selfish, and there’s a lot more important stuff that I shall be minding, but this season is really kinda tough.

And these were the messages I received:

1) It is tough. “Don’t give up, don’t give in, give it all to Him…” Grab ahold of some promises and don’t let go for even an instant. I [finally] met my husband when I was 36. I got married at 38, had my son one week before I turned 39, and we have been together for 27 years. It’s worth it to wait! Trust the Lord, he loves you so much more than you can imagine. I can’t tell you why the Lord makes some of us wait, but I can tell you that he DOES know what he’s doing. (I claimed a promise in Isaiah 34:16 “Seek from the book of the Lord, and read: Not one of these will be missing; None will lack its mate. For His mouth has commanded, And His Spirit has gathered them.”) Don’t give up! Don’t give in. Rejoice with your friends, since Romans instructs us to “rejoice with those who rejoice.” Their joy takes nothing from you, just as their suffering would give nothing to you. Blessings to you dear heart.

2) I got married at 29, after being raised in such a way that I was ready and waiting to get married since I was 16. It was hard to see all the girls 10 years younger than myself get married and start having babies. I love children and want my own badly (note- even if you do get married at some point, there will likely ALWAYS be something you want just out of reach.) While I know everyone’s so very different, I do wish I’d appreciated my single years more while I was in them. Scripture makes it clear, a married woman takes care of what her husband wants (super paraphrased) while single women can focus on taking care of what the Lord wants. The ability to immerse yourself in study, to participate in missions and events without having a home and husband to worry about is honestly something I miss. I’m by no means saying marriage is undesirable, but singleness is ALSO desirable. It’s not like a sickness, to be cured. It’s another element of life to be used because the Lord has blessed you with it. I don’t know if that’s helpful… if I’m making my thoughts clear. I just would encourage you to see the freedom and independence as benefits to take advantage of, for the glory of God.

3) 27 and single here. I find myself praying often that the Lord allows me to truly “rejoice with those who rejoice” when weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers all come up.

I also try to look at all the benefits of my single life right now. For me, it’s building confidence on my own, learning to manage finances, being more freely able to help others, etc. I feel more prepared to eventually be in a relationship/marriage if that’s what the Lord has for me than some of my friends who married younger were.

I also think that a common misconception is that as a single woman, you can’t be a “keeper of the home.” Keep your house clean, cook lovely meals for yourself, show hospitality by inviting groups of people over to your house. People tend to think of hospitality as more of a married woman’s game but it’s totally not.

The biggest thing I can say has helped me is not to isolate yourself. Find things you enjoy and go do them. Spend time with family and friends. Keep spending time in the word regularly. And occasionally spend a whole day home alone in your pj’s watching movies. 😂

4) Heyy!! There’s a class that I took.. Gods perspective of us. And the foundation of it is.. we are a wife before we are a “wife”.. meaning we are the bride of Christ before we are a physical bride here on earth.. and learning to serve and completely surrender to Christ..

There’s also some practical sessions as well for when you’re physically married.. but the concept is that A Man who finds a wife.. not a man who finds a woman and marries her and then she becomes a wife.. if you’re interested in the class let me know! There was a lot of great disciplines..

5) I remember this feeling. I did get married young, but most of my friends were married or engaged a bit before me. No one was available in our church, for me.

I prayed a lot, read an Elisabeth Elliott book on marriage, and Keep A Quiet Heart. I decided to do my best at what I was currently called to do. And it was obvious where God meant for me to be at that time.

It was when I had found contentment and would have been happiest to stay that way forever that God blessed me with a man. And he had waited what felt like eternity for him. He was 27 almost 28 when he married me.

I was working in a library, volunteering at church and home school co-op and plugging myself and heart and soul into everything and everyone that called out to me.

God may not have wanted me to marry and so I decided to do the most I could for others as though I was going to be single forever.

I did pray a lot though. And I still remember the longing for marriage.

But the more time I had to dwell on my singleness, the more I longed for someone.

6) I didn’t meet and marry my husband until I was 32. I struggled a lot with the prolonged singleness, especially in my late 20s. Turning 30 flipped a switch in me and I felt like I was 18 and full of hope and excitement for life again. I think the longer my singleness went on & the more I embraced it and life became that much more vibrant for me. In fact, when I did meet my new husband, I didn’t even want to hang out or date him (somehow I just knew he was the one) because I didn’t want to get tied down and was finally enjoying my singleness. Anyway, he won me over regardless & we were married 5 months after meeting.

7) Hey girl, I know that feel. Where I’m coming from: In a relationship – hoping to be married soon but the Lord is definitely sanctifying me through the waiting season. The yearning is real, but constantly trying to remind myself that when Christ is the supreme goal – there is nothing that life can offer, or that death can take away that can ever surpass the joy of being with my Savior. Have you read the book “Not Yet Married” by Marshall Segal? It’s so good 🙂

8) I’m 29 and single. Trust the Lord that He’s sovereign. Ask for patience and wisdom. Use your time to improve yourself and grow in your faith. Praying for you. ❤

9) While I married fairly young(23), we battled infertility for years. I have several close friends who married much later and I find the longing and the waiting very similar. I would suggest to use this time of waiting to grow in your relationship with Christ, which will be the best possible preparation to be a wife. Pray the same for your potential future spouse. Serve the Lord and the church in obedience while you wait. In my hardest times, serving others has always been the best way for me to deal with my grief. Also, please know that it is ok to grieve for your delayed dreams. Just do it in Christ. He knows our hurt and longing and is our comfort. 💜

•••

Praise God for sisters in the faith from all over the world. Praise God for each time I align my heart concerns to Him and what He has practically placed in my plate at the moment, it’s also when my perspective on my status gets better. There’s still a lot of works to be done, in me, through me, and around me. It’s not like the Lord needs me to get things done. But He is graciously giving me so much privileges and wonderful opportunities to do the works He has prepared for me to do, for His glory. That’s why I do believe that my current heart for marriage is still quite selfish, but valid, for the Lord cares for my heart’s desires. Psalm 103:8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. God knows what I want, but most importantly, He is sovereign, He above knows what I truly need. And it’s not a mate, it’s a heart genuinely aligned with Him & His will, for His will alone shall be done, for His will alone are good, pleasing and perfect.

Also, every good and perfect gift is from Him, I want that! I don’t want to rush things anymore. I don’t want earthly standards, I want the Lord’s will. If marriage isn’t for me, I want to be okay with that, I want to embrace that. I want to count it all joy that I would have to go through various trials, because the testing of my faith produces steadfastness/patience/endurance. Steadfastness must do its complete work, so that I may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. I want maturity in the faith, and maturity takes time, takes the Lord’s grace, I’m waiting on that, my hope is on the abounding grace of my Lord and Saviour. To my sisters in Christ, whether married or single, may we all be the Biblical Women the Lord designs us to be, it’s not easy, but by faith, it is possible — all for His glory.

PS How about you? What are your thoughts on these. I’d love to hear from you too. God bless you.

Single Christian Woman Diary

Yesterday, I was in a flight back to Riyadh from Geneva, it was another unforgettable layover. I didn’t expect I was going to share my story on adultery to a lady struggling with it. Yesterday, I was graciously reminded of my past sin, my weakness & how I’ve struggled years ago, not to pull me down of course, but to be able to empathise & pray. “Been there, done that”, this statement is definitely a reality. In a more precise and personal note: I’ve been through that sin, I’ve committed that sin. And I’m out of that sin by the grace of God, and my job now is to help other women combat that sin. I will never ever support adultery. If you ever see me go back to doing, supporting and celebrating it again, it means I am not truly a Christian, I will spend eternity in hell. But no, by grace, I’m a new creation in Christ.

After the flight, I had an ugly dream last night, which also had something to do with my story on adultery, and despite how the pain of the past felt so real again when I woke up this morning, I’m still very convinced that I’m never going back to my Egypt ever again (by grace), not going back to that place of slavery in my life. I had my quiet time on this issue through Exodus 14 a few months ago @ 12midnight in Paris. The story was about the terrified Israelites complaining to Moses and crying out for help. You know when you get very ungrateful and impatient on waiting on God that all you could think of is complain and want to go back to your past life? What a brat! What a sinner! I’d still get these rebellious thoughts, and good thing they can be killed in the head. Through prayers and Bible reading and with the help of accountability partners, the ugly thoughts may not translate into action. During that quiet morning in Paris, these words spoke to me very clearly: “Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and see the Lord’s salvation He will provide for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet.” Exodus 14:13-14 My battle against my past has nothing to do with the kind of heart I have & everything to do with the kind of God I serve. God is my protector. God is my deliverer. Grace pulled me and will continually pull me out of those potential sins. There is always a way out.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff — they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD as long as I live.

Jesus leads my present and my future, I may not be able to control the things I’d dream about, but I have the choice not to dwell & feel defeated, & to bring my struggles into the light. The Lord fights for me as I keep on persevering by grace.

The world’s way is cheap and easy. Getting a boyfriend is easy. But finding true love isn’t, it’s costly, unless you understand the cost of love, unless you grasp why Christ had to die for you, you will never find true & lasting love. I’ve spent many years being a young lady filled with insecurities, chasing after things that pretend to be love, having a twisted view of love, and over sensationalising my shallow view of it. I don’t want any of those anymore. Eww. My sins suck. I want Jesus. I want Christlikeness. I want His Holiness and Purity.

Semper Reformanda, it means always reforming, continually being changed for the glory of God. I want that. I want to always re-examine myself in order to never misrepresent the Gospel to people. I want to keep on changing, to not conform to the world’s pattern, and continue to be transformed by the renewal of my mind, and to find confidence in Christ’s good, pleasing and perfect will.

Ecclesia reformata semper reformanda (“the reformed church [must] always be reformed”), this is why I’m dedicating this to the Single-Christian-Women, to my always reforming sisters in Christ, we may have different struggles, different avenues of sins, but we do have our One & Only Almighty God to kill ’em all. God will soon crush Satan under our feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with us all.

Let us guard our hearts! We are in this battle together. May we always find security and contentment in Christ. May God continually protect us from temptations in any form. May we never harbour pride in our head thinkin’ we got it all handled, that we don’t need God’s help, which is very wrong, for He’s all we need in times of trouble. He’s the only one who can deliver us out of our sinful selves. May we not be slaves to sin, but slaves of Christ, slaves to righteousness and purity. May we never use our beauty, our body to sexually attract men to ourselves. May we graciously draw people to Jesus Christ and not to ourselves. May we have the integrity to truly love, the wisdom to know true love, the drive to pursue only true love, if not, well, our sins cannot be hidden forever. If we belong to Jesus, if we are chosen and truly His’, we’ve got to be reminded that there’s no room for an unrepentant heart in heaven. May the Holy Spirit’s power be upon us as we battle against wrong principalities, against our selfish desires, against sin.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

Brokenness

Never in my entire life have I embraced brokenness until I sincerely understood that it is necessary for my growth as a Christian. I was one of the people deceived by the illusion that Christianity is all about favor and blessings.2 Corinthians 4:4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. Many times in in my earlier years of getting to know Jesus, I’d treat Him like a genie, I’d require Him to grant me all my dreams and earthly ambitions for me to believe in Him. “Lord, give me a crown, make me famous, give me modeling gigs, make me marry at this age. Lord, I really want this, I want him, etc. etc.” This is how I’d pray back then. Full of pride and selfishness. I never wanted His presence, I never asked for more of Him. In most cases, I would end up broken, because He wouldn’t give me what I though I wanted, He always surprises me with what I truly needed. He blesses me with what is unseen, with what the world doesn’t understand, with matters that are beneficial for eternity, for the pruning and moulding of my character.

I’ve learned to love and embrace brokenness because it is necessary for my Christian walk. I am a sinner saved by Grace, if I understand this fully, I must humbly embrace brokenness. I forgot where I heard it exactly but I highly agree that Christians are constant & consistent repenters. Others find it so odd, but it’s exactly what we should be. Not conforming to the world, cause the world says it’s okay, a little sin won’t hurt, a little rebellion is cute. But if we truly are Christians, when we realize the gravity of those ‘tiny sins’, we would be disgusted, they aren’t cute at all. Tiny sins birth death, they are the passageway to our eternal separation from God. 2 Timothy 4:1-3 “Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.” Repentance is a privilege that can never be taken away from us Christians, because there isn’t salvation without repentance; and repentance goes hand and hand with brokenness. I’ve never heard of anyone who repented and believed in Christ without being truly broken.

This month has been packed with sanctification and opening of my blind eyes to what I’d label and tolerate as my “tiny sins”. Every time I realize things like these, I’m always reminded of how holy and pure my God is, that He doesn’t allow even a tiny bit of sin to linger. 1 Peter 1:15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” It’s such a shame, but sadly, I’ve been insecure and malicious, I’ve cheated, I’ve lied, I’ve manipulated and used His name in vain, I’ve done things out of conceitedness, I’ve coveted many times in my head, I’d struggle at the same things I never thought I’d still struggle with, & the scars I’d scratch would still give a heavy impact. It breaks my heart & I have to admit to myself all over again that I do not know how to love my God, that my love for Him is conditional, that Grace is the only thing that keeps me alive in the faith, that enables me to desire righteousness. I owe it all to GRACE. Actually, I do not owe it to GRACE, because I can never repay what GRACE has done. I can only give Him praise & thanks, I can only worship Him, Christ, my one and only Grace.

Wanna know what breaks me more? I commit mistakes, I sin again and again, and every-single-time, He’s the One who still and always provides the way out. 2Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. It hurts to hurt the Man I’d always shamelessly declare to the world that I do love the most when I couldn’t even love Him right — because I am a sinner.

I don’t know how many times I’ve said this before, but I am tired. I’m tired of hurting Him. I’m tired of sin. I’m sick of my sins that’s why I embrace brokenness. For I know, in time, He’ll take all brokenness aside and make it beautiful. But for now, I gotta go through it. I have to feel it. Remorse cannot be skipped, shame must be felt, sorrow is necessary for it makes us better grasp, how deep, how wide, how great His love is for His people, for those called according to His purpose.

I truly have no participation to my salvation other than my sin and wretchedness. We can never understand the Lord’s love in pride and arrogance, by thinking that we deserve so much more, when we deserve nothing good, and yet His grace came in. Ephesians 2:8-9 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

There’s no such thing as an innately good human being, in my lifetime, I’m the biggest proof of a wretched person I know with innately evil thoughts and deeds. Should that bother me? It is written in Romans 3:10-12 “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” Christians, our story doesn’t have to end there. We remain grateful in the midst of troubles, trials and tests. We are still in the midst of brokenness, constantly being sanctified, we aren’t promised that it won’t hurt, but we are promised by our Lord that the narrow path is worth it, that He who endures till the end will be rewarded. God has given us the reason to always hold on to our faith, that He himself provided. It is finished. Your past, present and future sins… forgiven. Paid in full by Christ at the cross in Calvary. It is irrevocable for God doesn’t change His mind, He is a Promise Keeping God. He’ll soon come back for us, His people, His sheeps, His servants, His daughters and sons, His bride. We shall live with Him in righteousness forever.

4 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

BROKENNESS IS NOT A PLACE THAT HE TAKES US SO HE CAN LEAVE US, BUT HE BREAKS US SO HE CAN REMAKE US. CONFORM US TO THE VERY IMAGE OF CHRIST… -Voddie Baucham

***

♥️ My prayer:

Psalm 51: 1-4

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.

♥️ My worship:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning, I shall see Thy lovely face; Clothed then in blood washed linen, How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace; Come, my Lord, no longer tarry, Take my ransomed soul away; Send thine angels now to carry, Me to realms of endless day.

(Come Thou Fount by Robert Robinson)

♥️ My declaration:

His love for me shall enable me to love Him genuinely. His love isn’t weak for He isn’t a weak God. His love is more powerful than my sin and shame. My eyes are kept on Christ for nothing can separate me from Him, not even my sin. I am His’, I belong to Christ now until eternity. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

My Heart & BibleMesh

Today, I finished my Bible in Missional Perspective 2month course in BibleMesh, BibleMesh is a a site for theological courses to help Christians grow in faith and make disciples in the local churches. To learn more about it, you may check the website: BibleMesh.com

A year ago, it was introduced to me by my discipleship group leader, Steffi. She encouraged me to take the courses and join the class with my other brothers & sisters at The Fellowship. (To learn more about The Fellowship: come to CCF Eastwood, UpperRoom every Monday at 7pm😉). I initially didn’t want to participate in it, during that time, I was still distracted and struggling with my former job, but I still said yes to Steffi without fully being committed to it. To cut the long story short, it took me over a year to finish the course. Just today. Praise God I did.

Bible in Missional Perspective helped me understand the Bible in summary better than I used to. I can conclude that men are truly evil, God is truly good, and Christ is truly Lord of all. If He isn’t Lord of all, He isn’t Lord at all. Understanding the creation, the fall of man, the solution to our problem is overwhelmingly good. It inspires me to better serve my King Jesus, not because I’m a nice girl, but because He’s a nice God, w/ a good-good-Father. Looking at it, through the lens of a Filipino lady who grew up with a Catholic background, the knowledge of what He’s done is very simple, but not everyone has understood it, because not all eyes were opened, NOT YET. And that’s the goal, to get Him known, to get people to see what we see. I know, it’s only Grace that does that, Grace initiated by His love through us, Christians. Mannn. I pray I’ll be able to do my heavenly job well. Sometimes we find the gospel so basic, sometimes (we think) we get too familiar with it that we forget its essence. And most of the time, well, in my case, most of the time I’m pridefully wrong. Repent! Gosh, it was humbling. Shame on me. I was too prideful to not want to study & learn. But thank God for finally making me finish the course. I didn’t even get a perfect grade with my test, but I’m just happy with the knowledge I’ve gained.

I’m emotional as I write these things, and it’s okay, the overflow of my emotions will subside, but I pray that the overflow of my love, adoration and longing for Him doesn’t. By Grace, through Faith, in Christ. Always!!! What a beautiful God I have! I want to learn more. I want to know Him more. I want to learn how to love like Him even more. Christians, let’s all die together, & be filled with Christ.

Let me end with these verses from my favourite follower of Jesus, Paul:

“I affirm by the pride in you that I have in Christ Jesus our Lord: I die every day! If I fought wild animals in Ephesus with only human hope, what good did that do me? If the dead are not raised, Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.

Therefore, my dear brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:31-32, 58

Dear False Lover (Part 2)

Dear False Lover (2),

Hi. Nope, you didn’t expect me to write you for the 2nd time. But I did. Surprise. Hindi ko sinasabayan ang mga stats and year end posts ng mga tao just cause it’s New Year, hindi din hyped yung emotions ko. In fact, pakiramdam ko mas matino na ako mag-isip ngayon. More reasonable than emotional. Emotional: on that note, I’m still a work in progress. Kaya thank God pa din, dahil may progress.

Medyo matagal na din since I last wrote you Dear False Lover (1), May of 2016. It’s been a year and a half. Madami ng nangyari sakin, and I’m sure sayo din. I’m sure? Well yes, cause I’d still check your Instagram once in a while. Not to weigh kung may nararamdaman pa ako para sayo, matagal na natin tinapos kung ano man yung meron tayo. Normal lang naman siguro maging curious paminsan-minsan.

So what’s the point? Why would I write you another letter? Well, eto na. I noticed that my first letter to you was too heavy. Parang galit na galit dahil sa sobrang sakit and sobrang bigat as if I was the only victim sa pag cameo natin sa buhay ng isa’t isa. Eh parehas lang naman tayong biktima ng sin, ni Satan. I noticed too that I blamed it all to you. I don’t even remember kung humingi na ba ako ng tawad sayo. So that’s the purpose of me writing you again, para mag-sorry.

I’m deeply sorry that my heart was full of pain and pride at the same time. I’m sorry I had to go through the process of healing, along with that involved me hating you. I didn’t acknowledge my sin. I was insecure. I was motivated by selfishness. I was desperate. I was a false lover myself. I was lost. Kaya sobrang sorry cause I blamed you for the sin I chose to make. Gusto ko din sabihin that I’ve already forgiven you. Kapal naman ng mukha ko if I wouldn’t forgive, kung si God nga napatawad ako sa dami ng kasalanan ko.

Hindi ako naniwala na time heals, I believe only Jesus can absolutely do that. Or maybe He heals in His’ time? Pero yun nga, Jesus heals. It took me a while to digest all these. But I’m grateful I reached this point. I’m grateful I’m able to finally say sorry, forgive you, and myself. Sana napatawad mo na din ako.

Ang saya ko to start the year with this blog. Kasi diba makakapagsimula lang naman tayo ng maayos at tama kung mapayapa yung heart natin. The Father’s forgiveness through the Son set me free. Forgiveness is always freeing, it’s always the key to true healing. Easier said than done. Pero legit. I can attest now, totoo. I’m free. Plus, I can’t really consider myself a Christian kung wala sa sistema ko ang pagpapatawad at paghingi ng tawad.

Alam mo yung song na Grace Changes Everything ng Victory Worship?

“There’s no sin too great

There’s no pain too deep

The cross declares it is done

There’s no shame too real

That His love won’t heal

Forever the victory is won”

It is finished. Christ took it all, the pain, the shame, the anger, the pride in my heart, the bitterness, my sin. The old is gone, the new has come. Kaya again, I’m sorry, my brother in Christ.

O sya. Yun lang. Praying for grace upon grace upon grace sa buhay mo. God bless you!

Sincerely,

(Insert Name)

Mali, mali. Isa pa.

Sincerely,

Ria

10 Things I Appreciate About My Job

I’ve been forgetting to be grateful recently since my desire to come home to Manila on my 1st monthly days off didn’t push through. So now I decided to have a quick review on some of the things I’m grateful for, cause there’s really nothing to complain about. I am blessed, regardless.

These are 10 tiny things I appreciate about my job.

1. Short and neat nails – I’m not really a fan of nail polish. Is that weird? I don’t like painting my nails and I’m sooo happy that my work doesn’t require me to have nail polish on. I have the option to paint it red, or keep it short and clean.

2. I like that I do not serve alcohol on board. PRAISE GOD.

3. I have at least 5 consecutive days off every month. Not all Airlines give this opportunity. I have no excuse, there’s time to pause and ponder on life on a monthly basis. Praying that I’ll always be able to use these days off wisely & purposefully.

4. There’s washing machine and dryer in the villa where I stay, w/c is my home for about half a year. There’s grace in doing the laundry. My hands won’t hurt anymore! Hehe.

5. My job forces me to be domesticated. It allows me to learn how to cook, wash dishes, do the laundry, clean my room, budget my groceries. In short, it prepares me for future marriage. Lol.

6. Free gym membership 24/7.

7. Friendly neighbourhood. I’m neighbours with my batch mates -aka- my family. See? There’s home away from home!

8. It’s been more than a week since I started flying and I don’t feel any “seniority” right here. I guess it’s also all in the mind, but so far, I’m very grateful that my colleagues are so nice and helpful. Diversity of nationality brings out enthusiasm in me. There’s a lot to learn from Egyptians, Tunisians, Bosnians, Malaysians, etc.

9. I’m seeing lives change. I won’t go into details anymore on this one, but I see GOOD FRUIT. (Christians, you feel me?)

10. My job as a whole makes me Spiritually driven, it makes me hold on to Christ even more. It makes me suffer beautifully w/ homesickness as it allows me to grow even more in love & intimately with my Almighty Father.

Sometimes, it’s the little things that the Lord allow that enable us to truly appreciate life. My prayer is for me to continually delight in the Lord & get even more intimate with Him. For everywhere in the world could be a home when I am founded & deeply rooted in my Saviour. Yes. Christ is my Home.

Dealing with Closed Doors

Do you know somebody who graciously dealt with blocked opportunities? Me, I know one. It’s myself. Lalayo pa ba ako? Before it crosses your mind that I’m being boastful here, let’s first give emphasis to the word “graciously”, from it’s root word GRACE, which means “underserved favor”, something that is not produced by human effort, but has been freely given to men by God. You may check out and ponder on these verses to learn more about Grace: (Romans 3:20-24; Ephesians 4:7; Ephesians 2:8-10) So maybe I’m boasting now, but that’s only because of what He has done through me. Apart from it, I can do nothing.

But really, it’s not like I’ve mastered dealing with rejections, terminations, and unanswered prayers. It’s just that over the years, God has taught me to endure, has given me the grace to do so, & to face the reality that rejections may actually be okay for my growth as a Christian.

Through Christ, I’ve learned to have a better perspective on rejection. I have a long list of closed door experiences: not getting the job I wanted, joining a national pageant for years and not being able to win a crown, not making it to fashion show go-sees for not being tall enough, not being liked by my childhood crush (Praise God!!! 😝), not making it as a lead actor for a broadway theatre show back in college, being denied to enter the United States when I was 17 years old, and a whooole lot more. — I used to question Him a lot for all these. And I used to be so horrible at dealing with rejections. I’d ask, why wouldn’t He give what I wanted if He really loves me? I’d be filled with shame and bitterness deep inside. Shame produced by my pride, and bitterness birthed by my innately ungrateful heart. These would be so evident back when when I did not clearly understand grace yet.

The thing about my rejected opportunities is most of the time I would want them so “BADLY”. I unawarely wanted them for the wrong reasons. Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Most of the things I wanted so much to attain were selfish passions. Like in not winning a crown, I’m not the only candidate in any pageant, if I call myself a Christian and feel bad for others’ reign just because I didn’t win, then that would make me a hypocrite. But hey, Jesus died for me already, so I shall no longer live for myself. It’s hard and it may seem impossible to not live for yourself, but nothing is impossible with Him. I mean, I would see it in my life now little by little. Back then, my eyes would be so focused on physicality, material possessions, earthly success stories, good image. But what’s the point of attaining all these if I won’t be able to bring them all to heaven? I’m not saying it’s wrong to be successful, but to wanna be one for selfish reasons, is what makes it wrong. In fact, it is in vain; for only what’s done for Christ truly lasts. (Romans 7:18) I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.<

I have read a book on how the early Christians selflessly lived their lives for Jesus, and it challenged me in a good way. If they could do it, then maybe I can too. Besides, we only have One God, we only glorify & worship One King, with the same great power and ability to transform & use us for His glory. I’m not saying that I’m going to be martyred for my faith, but if that happens, I pray God gives me the grace to endure. Here’s the link to the free ebook, you might be interested: A Little Book on the Reformation, by Nathan Busenitz.⚡️

So here’s how I dealt with some of the closed doors in my life:

1. Seek Godly counsel – I’d go directly to mentors/people with sound wisdom. (Proverbs 11:14) Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory. Graciously, God gave me the right people to go to. When I was terminated at PAL, people helped me reset my plans. I have friends from the aviation industry who helped me move forward, advised that I apply for other Airlines, and Spiritual mentors who covered me with prayers.

2. Accept rebuke. In relation to no.1, I make sure that I honour my mentors, asses their advise, be encouraged by their prayers and accept their rebuke when necessary. (Most of the time, rebukes are very much needed for me. Haha.) I make sure I go to someone who won’t feed my ego, but will really be transparent enough to tell me what’s wrong & why certain things won’t go my way. (Proverbs 15:31-33) He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, But he who listens to reproof acquires understanding. The fear of the LORD is the instruction for wisdom, And before honor comes humility.

3. Pray unceasingly. Now that God has been enabling me to be enticed more on heavenly matters than the the earthly & temporary ones, I believe my prayer life has improved. I learned to pray for His will to be done and not be pushy with what I want. So how do I know His will? Through His Word. Joshua 1:8 “This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; but you shall meditate therein day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall have good success.” Also in Romans 10:17 “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” — I’m constantly learning to pray the right prayers. I no longer get as disappointed as I would be back then (especially during my early pageant years in 2013), because now, I’d graciously learn to rely on His will, having His Word as my life’s authority. Reading the Word of God everyday allows me to learn and understand His will for me.

Guys, being a Christian is really dying to self. (I knoow, mahirap talaga!😭) It may not be something we learn overnight, and not something we swiftly attain unless Grace does it to us. But pray unceasingly, will you? Be patient as you wait for His answer. Pray not to be bitter, pray to always be humbled. You know another thing that makes me so grateful about rejection? Through the personal rejections I had, I’d see how much the Lord has protected me. He knows my heart and what I’m capable of doing when I do things outside His will. I’m not saying that you are doing things out of His will, but if closed doors frustrate you, I pray you trust Him all the more. Faith is fully believing in what you hope for and being certain of what you do not see. That doesn’t mean believing merely in your dreams & goals in life, but believing that God is above it all and being certain that He is your ultimate goal. One more thing, rejection could be His way of disciplining us. Guess what the Word has to say about discipline: Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed instead.Hebrews 12:9-12 I’m grateful that I landed to an extent of grace that is too beautiful, healthful & helpful for my Christian growth that left me no room for self condemnation, that gave me ample time to be truly sorry for my sin, accept the things I’ve done wrong and change what I can change — by grace, through faith, in Christ. Grace also taught me that no matter how much goodness I do in this world, it will never be the basis of my salvation — for my goodness degrades the truth. I can never attain what my God has already done for me. Because even in trying to do so, thoughts of evil will enter my head, a little bit of selfishness, competitiveness, greediness, lust of the flesh and the heart. Sure, they do not materialise, I get to kill the ideas before it becomes actual sin, but it is still sin. That’s why I’m excited for the day where I’ll go to a place where none of the ugliness and filthiness of any man’s heart will exist. I’m excited for heaven. “He will destroy death forever. The Lord God will wipe away the tears from every face and remove His people’s disgrace from the whole earth, for the Lord has spoken.”Isaiah 25:8 Let’s rejoice with opportunities that didn’t unfold right in front of us. Greater things are yet to come, may not be in this world, but in our true home. Every Christian’s citizenship isn’t in this world, we’ve got eternity waiting for us, heaven!!!❤️

So if you have been raised with the Messiah, seek what is above, where the Messiah is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on what is above, not on what is on the earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with the Messiah in God. When the Messiah, who is your life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4