Mama: Elo’s Pregnant, Ela’s Getting Married – Me: Whaaat???

Yes. That was my initial reaction when I first heard from my mom that my younger sisters, the twins are taking huge dramatic decisions in their own separate lives. A little background, they both just turned 25 last June, they’re a bit young for these kinds of circumstances (well, for me). Days after their birthday, the first news my mom popped to our chat group was Elo’s pregnancy. I was shocked and worried because she’s not married with her fiancé yet. I initially wanted to talk to her, nag, get mad, total outburst of emotion cause I was very frustrated. But I had to control my self, I just cried in my room instead, called and spoke to Ela. We prayed and dedicated the baby to Jesus. Few weeks later I was on the phone with Mama and she brought up and asked me more than twice if I already got to talk with Ela about her plans. I irritatingly replied to my mom that her plan is to come back to Alabama and be with our family in a month (she’s currently in Georgia with her fiancé for about 2years). And then Mama revealed to me that Ela changed her decision, her fiancé, Dylan proposed to her again after not fulfilling his promise of marrying my sister right when he took her to Georgia, and she said yes to the proposal. He got my parents’ blessings too. I was sad a minute after I found out. It felt like everything we prayed for on her life situation was thrown away. But there was a sudden switch of emotion in my chest as my mom continually explained it to me, thank God. 

Next thought that came in my head was: who am I to judge my sisters? I’ve disappointed my parents too in a lot of ways, I was even worse than the two. That moment, I felt like I was the goody-good older brother in the Parable of the Lost Son. Becoming angry and complaining in my head about my parents’ acceptance on the twins’ plans. Check out Luke 15:28. Mama even mentioned that Ela was scared to tell me. So I had to pause and thoroughly think about my stand and check my heart so I won’t be quarreling with my sisters when I call them. 

Let’s segue for a bit: I began my walk with Jesus months after the twins left the Philippines to be with our family in the USA, imagine now how I was to them as an older sister. I was an awful one. When they were still in the Philippines, more than 5years ago, I didn’t really play the role of an “ATE” to them. We’d always fight, they’d see my tantrums with my former boyfriend and they’d get really irritated at me, there was even a time that I took drugs in front of them, and I’d encourage them to smoke, drink and party. Why am I bringing this up? Truth is the root of my frustration wasn’t cause of their decisions but because I thought things would’ve been different if I was a Christlike sister to them back in the days. That really saddened me. 

Here’s what I learned though: Isaiah 43:18-19 says “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” The least I shall put my attention on is the past and the negative stuff. I shall not condemn myself, neither my sisters. I know that everything has consequences and we cannot skip that, God is just and must punish sin and He remains gracious and loving at the same time. Again, I shall not underestimate how He can and will work in the hearts and lives of my sisters, and my entire family. We all are a work in progress.

Right now, I try to look at the bright side of it: that they both have someone to love and pursue them for as long as they live. Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.💜 That instead of being anxious I may just be more prayerful: for the baby to be healthy and the marriage to flourish. What’s also nice is that their soon to be husbands, my brothers-in-law seem to love them well. Well, we will all continually pray for that. And for Elo and Ela also to be prepared for family and married life — with Jesus as their guide and in the center of their family. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I was able to talk with Ela and congratulated her. The wedding is on August and we are all excited. I also got to message Elo, prayed for the baby. She’s giving birth on December and we are even more excited. I sincerely felt that it was peaceful doing it. I also think my sisters are delighted with our family’s support. 

Thank You, Lord for the forgiveness of our sins and for the gift of life and marriage. I above pray that we can all love, fear and obey you at the same time that you may be glorified truthfully and mightily in our lives. Entrusting my family to you. Love you! Xx 

Transitions

Transition (tranˈziSH(ə)n)
the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another – – – synonyms: changeover, conversion, development, evolution, growth, progress, shift, transformation, alteration, turning point, realignment

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unnamedTransition, seems positive to me! I like the transitions that’ve been happening in my life lately. One of it is the urgency of my resignation from Captured Dream Productions, which became my home and my family for more than a year. It was bitter/sweet parting ways with them, cause I already became comfortable and close with my workmates. God taught me a lot in that company and sadly, my season there had to end. I remember praying for that job and receiving it as my breakthrough March 2014. Here’s the proof: CLICK ME 🙂  On a lighter note, it was just the job that I left, not the friends I made. 😉

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And so I prayed for a new job, and again, I was very particular with my prayer points. I won’t be disclosing the details of it anymore but all my prayers were answered. God immediately gave me my job at GAVA Technologies Inc. as a Marketing Associate, I got hired the day I officially resigned from CDP. I’ve been with GAVA for 3 weeks now. In all honesty, it’s challenging, it’s corporate and very systematised! I’m kinda not used to it, but I believe He’s the One who brought me there so I’m hopeful that He’ll provide for the grace in making me contribute to GAVA. 🙂

Another thing I love about my new job is the larger scale of opportunity for me to familiarise myself with foundations all around the country and abroad (*fingers crossed*), we partner with ABS-CBN Foundation, World Vision, UNICEF, etc.

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Last week, we visited SOS Children’s Village Philippines in Alabang, it’s a charity organisation founded by an Austrian named Hermann Gmeiner. You must be wondering why a tech company is partnering with foundations such as this. Well that’s because of our product, Gift It, it’s a generosity (online) app that is yet to be launched on October. It aims to build an ecosystem of giving to charity foundations and to friends on special occasions. Such an irony that God brought me here, I’d always pray that He would teach me to be more generous cause I was the type who always likes receiving. Oh well, my God is very clever. I’m convinced that I’m in the right path; for the Lord said, it’s better to give than to receive. Gift It surely has that quality! Another challenge for me (and for any of us) as I (/we) download the app soon. Hehe.

Transition 2 is my elevated value for friendship. Ever had people in your life you never imagined yourself being close with? I do.

unnamed4 unnamed3I never thought friendship could be as intense as what I have with these women, my sisters in Christ. I witnessed it a month ago during ate Mitch and Kuya Christian’s wedding, when we prayed, had some #realtalk, and when they listened and encouraged me in the midst of my roller coaster emotions. Kris, Ate Monica, Mel, Ate Mitch… in case you’re reading this now, thank you for being my accountability partners, for always pointing me to Him and reminding me of how much He loves me. I never understood and appreciated the perks of having sisters in Christ until my mentor, Tita Iris highlighted that I surround myself with girl friends. I literally found legit sisters in their persona, and I’m excited cause I’ve got more sisterhood to build and rekindle. Like the one below, my chinita-college-friends Mixy and Cam. I had a great time catching up with them. Below it is a photo of my rare bike-date with my cousins, Jazmin and Freida. Cousins can be awesome friends too!

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Does this mean I shall avoid befriending men? Hebrews 13:1 says keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. And Proverbs 4:23 says above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. As I understood it, it’s alright befriending men but I shall deliberately draw a fine, unbreakable & uncompromising line on my friendship with them because I have to guard my heart, reserve and preserve the best and only VIP slot for the man I will marry one day. Practical matters such us: not having a guy best friend, not isolating myself in a room with a man, no late night phone calls, texts, random Facebook messages out of boredom, no flirting, no casual one-on-one invites for coffee, these are some of the things I shall take note of and practice in my life, for God sees my heart! And of course, have women as my accountability partners for they can relate to me and they understand me more. Sharing my emotional side to men could be very dangerous, there’s a natural possibility to develop unnecessary feelings. I sincerely appreciate learning all these now. Again, because I have to guard my heart, that’s for my own good, and for my future partner too. It may seem too strict, but the greater love you want, the greater sacrifices you make, right?

unnamed2Which leads me to my 3rd transition, my view on relationship. I want my future husband to find delight as he finds out one day that I never cheated on him on the process of waiting for him, that I waited in purity, in truth and integrity. That I didn’t date any man just because I got impatient and felt lonely on the process of waiting for him. We (us women) always say we want what’s best for us, and we want to end up marrying the right man. But for every cause, comes a cost. I believe mine would involve a lot of sacrifices, patience and perseverance. If I truly-madly-deeply want to end up with the right man, I’ve got to consciously and purposefully be the right woman, not a mere wishful thinking, not chic-flick kinna thing, but a woman of fine and secure relationship with the Lord first, more than anything or anyone else. Because I’m believe in faith that the man my Heavenly Father is preparing for me will meet or even exceed my desires and expectations. That’s why I want to be my God’s Best’s answered prayer too!

Why do I consider it a transition? Because I never viewed relationship this way back then. Sadly, in my five years of being single it’s only recently that I realised these matters. No regrets though, better late than never. 😉

Transition 4, Siri couldn’t help me with heart problems.

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But, here’s what I’ve learned…

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I’m going 4years old with my relationship with Jesus Christ, and I still have a lot of transitioning to do. For now, I’d like to be thankful for the current realignment He’s been doing in and through me.

I pray that you would feel the same too in whatever season you may be in. May we always find it satisfying that even if we haven’t yet gone through transition in some areas of our lives, knowing that He’s with us in Spirit and in truth, we’ll be absolutely fine!

Sincerely,

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Palawan (SepAnx)

 

The week before I went to Puerto Princesa, I prayed to enjoy the trip, to have a safe flight and to take home some good stories I could share to my blog. But things went differently, I didn’t expect that I won’t be able to compose any writing while I was there. I think God made me feel things more than analyze them.

Now I came up with a vital conclusion to my trip, I LOVE MY FAMILY, I mean the Rabajante clan (even the ones who didn’t make it to the trip) and I appreciate them MORE today than I used to. Cause back then I was so caught up with my worldly life, too selfish and conceited to actually keep them in mind. SELFISH, I want to stop being one, and be like my parents, aunts and uncles who would sacrificially give their time, finances, and best effort for the joy of our family, especially their children. I’m not saying that we are perfect, we are actually all flawed. I don’t like that my uncles and cousins love to drink alcohol cause they think that’s a generational trait of the family. I used to be a drunkard myself, but I can’t really take the credit for the changes of being cleansed from alcohol. It was Christ’s work. Also, it’s never an excuse for me not to honor them even if they’re (still) like that, for they will always always ALWAYS be my family. They shall always be in my prayers and one of my grand desires is to break the chain of alcoholism. Again, I’ll leave that up to Jesus. 

Going back to the trip… It was really good. I hope I could spend more time with them, talk to each of them and learn about their lives. I hope to be selfless enough to find time for our gatherings, be a friend to my older cousins, and a nice ‘ate/tita’ to my little cousins, nieces and nephews. I have all the time in the world now. I hope I could spend it wisely before I even make my own family. I hope to see the little Rabajante’s loving and glorifying the Lord. And I intensely pray that God would spare them from the pain of the generations before them. I believe it’s a promise from our Lord, that as we remain in Him, everything will be well with us. And it’s never wrong to desire wellness for your loved ones, right? 

I guess this is all I have to say for now. This is more of an appreciation entry. It’s just too weird and stupid for me to oblige and pressure myself to always come up with something inspirational when all God wants me to do now is be grateful. I’m grateful, a little sad that my quality time with them was short, but still GRATEFUL. 

I love my family. ❤️

   
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
 And God loves us so much, too much! We are His’. Declared. Claimed. Sealed. ❤️