My Heart & BibleMesh

Today, I finished my Bible in Missional Perspective 2month course in BibleMesh, BibleMesh is a a site for theological courses to help Christians grow in faith and make disciples in the local churches. To learn more about it, you may check the website: BibleMesh.com

A year ago, it was introduced to me by my discipleship group leader, Steffi. She encouraged me to take the courses and join the class with my other brothers & sisters at The Fellowship. (To learn more about The Fellowship: come to CCF Eastwood, UpperRoom every Monday at 7pm😉). I initially didn’t want to participate in it, during that time, I was still distracted and struggling with my former job, but I still said yes to Steffi without fully being committed to it. To cut the long story short, it took me over a year to finish the course. Just today. Praise God I did.

Bible in Missional Perspective helped me understand the Bible in summary better than I used to. I can conclude that men are truly evil, God is truly good, and Christ is truly Lord of all. If He isn’t Lord of all, He isn’t Lord at all. Understanding the creation, the fall of man, the solution to our problem is overwhelmingly good. It inspires me to better serve my King Jesus, not because I’m a nice girl, but because He’s a nice God, w/ a good-good-Father. Looking at it, through the lens of a Filipino lady who grew up with a Catholic background, the knowledge of what He’s done is very simple, but not everyone has understood it, because not all eyes were opened, NOT YET. And that’s the goal, to get Him known, to get people to see what we see. I know, it’s only Grace that does that, Grace initiated by His love through us, Christians. Mannn. I pray I’ll be able to do my heavenly job well. Sometimes we find the gospel so basic, sometimes (we think) we get too familiar with it that we forget its essence. And most of the time, well, in my case, most of the time I’m pridefully wrong. Repent! Gosh, it was humbling. Shame on me. I was too prideful to not want to study & learn. But thank God for finally making me finish the course. I didn’t even get a perfect grade with my test, but I’m just happy with the knowledge I’ve gained.

I’m emotional as I write these things, and it’s okay, the overflow of my emotions will subside, but I pray that the overflow of my love, adoration and longing for Him doesn’t. By Grace, through Faith, in Christ. Always!!! What a beautiful God I have! I want to learn more. I want to know Him more. I want to learn how to love like Him even more. Christians, let’s all die together, & be filled with Christ.

Let me end with these verses from my favourite follower of Jesus, Paul:

“I affirm by the pride in you that I have in Christ Jesus our Lord: I die every day! If I fought wild animals in Ephesus with only human hope, what good did that do me? If the dead are not raised, Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.

Therefore, my dear brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:31-32, 58

Advertisements

Dhaka, Bangladesh 🇧🇩

Whoever says Dhaka isn’t a good idea, baka naman kailangan mo lang bigyan ng chance? I think most (if not all) of the crew who’ve been here na nakausap ko regarding their feedback on the place told me that there’s nothing special about it. Pero in my head, it couldn’t be that way, there’s always something special about the diversity of the Lord’s creation. Sa eroplano pa lang on the way to the Dhaka, God made me realize by just looking at the passengers that we all are made differently yet beautifully, diba nga when He created Adam and Eve, He said it was very good.

I was told too that the place is a little scary and not that attractive for touring. Well again, in my head, shouldn’t every place we’ve never been to be enough reason for us to tour? Or fine, maybe lakwatchera lang talaga ako. To be honest, medyo sketchy yung area outside the hotel I stayed in (La Meridian Hotel), but I decided to give it a shot, (traveling mercies!), checked out some places nearby, buti nalang game din ang flying partner ko to go out.

So medyo nag-OOTD kami. Wore those colourful floral abaya-ish dress we got from Jeddah for 5SAR (Saudi Riyals) na 65 pesos lang each when you convert to Philippine peso. The dresses were perfect cause Bangladesh is a muslim country, but unlike Saudi Arabia, we weren’t required naman to wear abaya and tarha. We also braided our hair, but hey, remember what it says on 1 Peter 3:3? “Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes.” So dapat as Christians, we should care more about our inner selves, okay? We should desire to be gentle and quiet in Spirit more than anything else cause that’s what’s precious in God’s eyes. That’s why I’m trying to be careful also with shopping, I pray talaga this year that I don’t purchase things I do not need, cause it could be really tempting to just buy whatever, I think alam ng mga flight attendant yan everywhere in the world. That’s why Frey and I were so happy na super mura lang yung dresses namen hahaha. And in all honesty, we try to develop our relationship with God more through Bible reading and prayers. Yes, I’m proud to say that we continually pray together and study the Bible. Sabi ko nga, lahat ng relationships that I will invest my time & energy on, I want to be intentional in making Christ the center, cause pointless talaga kung hindi naman Sya yung reason and purpose ng lahat ng bagay.

Going back to our tour in Dhaka, it was awesome. I would say that people here are helpful, not only cause I stayed in a hotel and they were obliged to accommodate me, but ang blessed ko sa encounters ko, some guy in the airport helped me with my luggage, nice din yung guy na nagtitinda sa clothing store here called “Zara” — I noticed too na magaling makipag small talk mga tao dito. Hehe.

My highlight would be the rickshaw (bike) driver who toured us around the area, sobrang baet nya, he said he’d tour us anywhere and he doesn’t care how much we pay him, we told him we could only give 50 taka for the entire tour and he okayed to it. In fairness, now ko lang naconvert 30pesos lang yun. Shux! Ang kapal ng mukha namin. But hey, cause he was such a good and unassuming tour guide, and went extra mile talaga with his job, we gave him more than the amount we promised, I won’t tell anymore how much but God knows. Hehe. His name by the way is Mr. Abdul Islam, super nice sya and in fairness ang galing nya mag-english.

After the tour, I was able to tell him that Jesus loves him so much, and we had a short prayer with him. Mehhhn, if only I could tell that to every person I encountered here, grabeeee. Naiiyak ako. I’m praying for his salvation.

Anyway. I gotta go, will fly back to my home base in a few hours. Sorry medyo rush ‘tong blog na ‘to. I will definitely go back here and explore some more. Thank You Jesus for such a gracious Dhaka experience!

My Turbulent FA Journey

It’s been exactly a year since I became a Flight Attendant for Philippine Airlines; and though I only flew for 5months with my country’s flag carrier, I will always be grateful for what the Lord has taught me through my “turbulent” journey with PAL.

I never knew I would be in love with hospitality/customer service job 35,000 feet above sea level until the PAL opportunity came along right after my final year at Bb. Pilipinas (2016). If you were able to read my blog (A Necessary Detour & While the Failing Continues, The Failure Continues) several months back, you’d know that I was actually terminated for failing my written permanency exam. Looking back though, I think the reason why God allowed me to get fired was more than just not qualifying the permanency.

While I was working for PAL, I became in denial that the job was actually becoming my idol. My quiet time was becoming too quiet that I wouldn’t want to spend time reading my Bible, I wanted to Fellowship with my friends at church but I was half hearted in serving the Lord, I neglected opportunities (I dropped my BibleMesh class) where I had the chance to get to know Him more. I wouldn’t give much value to God, the same way I’d give value to my layover activities, my dream destinations, to my OOTD’s, my Instagram posts (which I deleted shortly after my termination, none of it really mattered). This season in my life reminded me of Ecclesiastes, where the writer talks about how depressing it is to seek happiness in the things of the world.

According to GotQuestions.Org: This book gives Christians a chance to see the world through the eyes of a person who, though very wise, is trying to find meaning in temporary, human things. Most every form of worldly pleasure is explored by the Preacher, and none of it gives him a sense of meaning. It’s key verse is Ecclesiastes 1:2 Vanity of vanities,’ says the Preacher, ‘vanity of vanities, all is vanity’. Sadly, this is very similar to how I spent most of my time flying with PAL. I was distracted by the world. As a Christian, I should be a world changer, not a world chaser. In PAL, I chose the latter.

The Epistle of Paul to Titus, (chapter 2) talks about the saints denying ungodliness & worldly lust, seeking the Lord, living soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world. I wasn’t seeking the Lord while I was flying for PAL. I placed Him behind, and navigated my life the way I wanted to. (Nagmarunong nanaman po ako. Feeling ko nanaman I could take care of my self.) For a few months, I was delusional, the world ate me up. — And that, I do not want happen ever again. I pray that His grace sustains me in my new journey with the new Airlines I am currently training for.

I’m already on my last 2 weeks at training to once again be a Flight Attendant. I am very grateful that He gave me another chance to pursue this career. So far, training has been very good, I can say it’s lovelier the second time around. By Grace, my Quiet Time has been good. By Grace, I would get better grades at my exams, nothing below 90%, I pray it remains this way until the end. By Grace, I would enjoy getting to know the 18 new classmates I have at training (but of course I love pa din my PAL ICCT16-12 family, the #Victorious1612 lol) and more women from other batches, some of different nationalities. My prayer for this brand new journey, I tweaked it a bit: that none of the things I would be tasked to do in this new opportunity given to me will be in vain, that I do not value this opportunity above God in my life, that I do not take it for granted, and that it humbles me, MORE & ALWAYS. May I never find the world pleasurable. May I never ever forget my First Love, Jesus Christ.

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13 On top of it all, I’ve witnessed and experienced that my faith in Christ Jesus is the ultimate job entrusted to me. The faith I have that He graciously poured out through and in me is my ultimate standards of pursuing a career. Life on earth is brief, time is running, why would I settle for things that do not have eternal bearing? In case that happens again, which I hope not, please rebuke me.

Few more weeks till graduation day. May I give Him glory for the rest of my time at training, post grad, and beyond. To my failures, to redirection, to new endeavours, to success, to every sadness turned to gladness, to God be all the glory!

My Story on Immodesty

Immodesty was a big struggle to me. I thought it was something I’d be compromising for the rest of my life due to career choices. My biggest dreams when I was about a decade younger were either to be a supermodel or a beauty queen (me & my worldly perspective, of course). My character was set to the industry’s culture, to wear underwear in front of anyone, pose in bikinis, look fierce in photoshoots, casually seduce the camera and have my sensual photos all over social media, print ads, etc.

Since I became a Christian, I began praying for God to make me dress modestly. It was *gasps* tough. I remember cutting all my bikinis into tinier pieces years ago and throwing ‘em all to make sure nobody uses it so I don’t make anyone stumble. Just a year ago, I’d say no to projects that would require me to be in bikinis. I’d also ask my friends to rebuke me each time I post anything disturbing on social media. It was so hard trying my very best to be modest. Mind you, I had massive relapses. But as usual, Grace came to my rescue.

None of my “good works” and my modesty-styling-skills fully changed me. It’s only Christ who could transform me from the inside out. It says in Galatians 5:16-19: walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, SENSUALITY..” Baaam! As usual, pahiya nanaman ako, I read these verses about 6 months ago at a Bible study with my friends, Marlann and Pamu. That moment, it finally hit me hard, and so I repented.

Right now, slowly but surely, I’m learning, appreciating and I’m fully convinced that my body really is the Holy Spirit’s temple, that I must protect, guard and take care of it not only in its spiritual but physical sense. What helps me fight immodesty is every time I’m about to do/be it, I’d ask myself: what is my motivation for doing it? Why do I want to flaunt my body? Why do I want to post a certain photo? Who gets pleased when I do it? As Christians, we are told not to conform to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Then we’ll be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will. (Intense. Gamit na gamit sakin ‘tong verse na ‘to.) It’s nice to always be reminded that not all good plans we have leads to the Lord’s pleasing and perfect will for us. If our desire doesn’t please God and doesn’t point us to Christ, it’s pointless. You get my point? 😉

I would call it irresistible grace that God brought me to a place that requires me to dress modestly. What a beautiful irony! Now, I’m learning to understand that my problem was more than just clothing preferences and career choice. The issue of immodesty is in the core, it’s an issue of the heart. It’s my sin in itself. Immodesty brought me to committing more sins in my past. It made me greedy for attention, fed my insecurity, led me to immorality. Indeed, sin begets sin!

But I praise my Lord and Saviour that I’m no longer in that state, that though I chose the immodest path back then, He pulled me out of it. Though I was being tempted by instant gratification and the earthly desires I had, He saved me from it. Immodesty is just one of the many sins Christ saved me from. I’m excited to discover more sins and be delivered from all of them. I’m hopeful that He will constantly sanctify me on this matter.

May our beauty not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, our inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1Peter 3:3-4

“Don’t you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.” 1Corinthians 6:19-20 — Shall we? Leggo!

Technology is an OFW’s Best Friend — Would you agree?

I’ve never appreciated technology the way I do these days. I’ve been taking advantage of it for the past two weeks of me being an OFW. It is the instrument of Grace the Lord is immensely using to strengthen, widen and deepen my faith in Him. I would seriously be dead by now without it — Spirituality dead.

I remember my prayer before I got my iPhone back when I was still working for Philippine Airlines. I literally asked God to allow me to use it only to give Him glory; that I do not use it for vanity, for selfish interests. I prayed that with every App I download in it, I only use them with an eternal perspective. I am amazed to witness now that that prayer is evidently becoming a reality, slowly but surely. My mobile phone is such a blessing. It has become my best friend. Praise God. 😭 Here’s why.

1) It is what keeps me rooted in the faith since I got here. My devotions, my Bible, my praise and worship music are all in it. It literally allows me to meditate on the Word day and night. It keeps me Spiritually alive and healthy. Yay! My most used app now are Spotify (for dancing and singing) Holy Bible (You Version; for my Quiet time) and Ligonier (where I watch preaching sermons). God makes my life A LOT easier through all these.

2) It connects me with my Spiritual family. It’s been two weeks and thank God cause I haven’t missed a dgroup meeting. I shall never give up, forsake, neglect meeting them even if it’s a bit hard to communicate. Hearing and being encouraged with the updates of my sisters in Christ and staying accountable with them is TREASURE. Thank God for Facebook Messenger! 😭

3) This week, I also got to video call with three of my best friends. (Thanks to Janelle Olafson, another sister who is in Texas – USA for inspiring me to catch up with my bff’s.) It was awesome! I’m glad to hear the things they are up to even for a while. I’m thinking of doing this with them regularly. Looks like distance isn’t really a hindrance for long-distance-relationships! ☺️

4) Another thing I love about technology is that I get to capture nice moments with my new friends; and swiftly share them with my loved ones all over the world.

It’s only been two weeks. I hope & pray that the communication upward⬆️ (to Him), downward⬇️ (through Him), and side-to-side↔️ (with Him) continues.

My phone has its benefits but it also has its downside. Sometimes, I’d still go overboard with social media to entertain myself for worldly feeding of my brains. You probably think I’m being too hard on myself, but the sinner in me has the tendency to idolise entertainment. I hope to be improved by Grace (on using social media wisely) for the coming days, that my heart chooses to spend more time with Him than indulge in things that don’t have eternal bearing. Grace, please take over!!!

Eastside Manors: Vote Wisely

My family moved to Eastside since I was 2years old, and I am already 27 now. So I essentially live in this place for 25years. I had my first crush here, and first heart break lol. My very first school was in this village too. I’ve seen childhood friends come and go; old and new neighbors exchanging food during noche buena. I’ve witnessed some neighbors fighting over a parking space, laughing, sharing lives through yearly Christmas carols, halloween parties and basketball leagues. Eastside was also a place of my break up stories, rebellion, life realizations, war room moments with Jesus, and the day-to-day transitions of my life mostly happened here.

Eastside wasn’t merely a house to live in for me and my family, it was and is our home. Among all the family members, I am the one who lived here the longest. I won’t claim to be its perfect homeowner, I’ve had my fair share of good, irresponsible and embarrassing acts in our community, that’s why I am writing this blog to at least try to do my part and be a responsible villager, by having the initiative to vote for the coming Election of officers for EMHA (Eastside Manors Homeowners Association) happening this Saturday. If you are a homeowner here, and you are concerned for Eastside as well, I hope this post enlightens you.

I won’t be accusing anyone of anything. I won’t be posting here who I’m voting for, though I am definitely supporting a party. I just have a few prayer points for my humble-little village that I hope my neighbors would also consider praying for.

1. Integrity – Whoever gets appointed as the next officers, whether I’d vote for them or not, I would have to respect it. God says honor the ones in authority. But I pray that whoever wins, the ones who will be in authority exemplify this character: integrity. Better the poor whose walk is blameless, than the rich whose ways are perverse – Proverbs 28:6. The Lord detests lying lips but He delights in people who are trustworthy – Proverbs 12:22. To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice – Proverbs 21:3. I pray for gracious integrity not just for the officers but for each and every home owner.

2. Fear of the Lord – If one fears the Lord, that person will be afraid to do anything that is against Him. That person isn’t corrupt, is not a liar, not manipulative. I pray that Eastside will have a set of officers that fears the Lord more than anything, that they fear going to hell and that they have respect and understanding for the Lord’s wrath that they won’t plan on doing anything displeasing.

3. Transparency – Let us bring every transaction to the light! Bible says we cannot serve two masters, it’s either you are for money or you are for the Lord. May God’s truth alone rule over the entire community of Eastside Manors. I sincerely pray that the ones who will be appointed this Saturday have a truthful heart for service, and true service is selfless servanthood, it isn’t self serving. May the officers not want the position for their own selfish interests, for vanity, because God abhors & won’t tolerate these heart conditions.

Here’s what I’m confident of: God will not allow anyone to be in a position of influence for nothing. If you think the winners won’t be deserving, then know that God is sovereign. Judgement belongs to Him. He may be doing something in that man’s heart. So let’s all continue to pray for His truth to prevail, that Eastside may be a progressive community. One that allows Jesus Christ to rule and reign in & through the neighborhood. I pray for a peaceful & graciously fair election. Hearts and lives are changing in Eastside, claim it!

Vote wisely. 😉

GAVAGIVES.com 

I was GAVA’s very first employee back in 2015. I began as its Marketing Associate and returned 2 months ago as its Brand Development Manager. Meaning, more responsibilities, broader view on how it may effectively grow (internally) as a team and (externally) as anyone’s crowdfunding platform for fundraising. I thank my boss, who is also someone I consider a very good friend and sister-in-Christ, Ms. Ann, Gava’s Founder and CEO for the trust she has given me to serve Gava again. Prior to my return, I had so much fears, I just came from a failure as a Flight Attendant in Philippine Airlines and I was scared of once again being a disappointment to any company. I was torn between choosing Gava or staying with PAL to temporarily try out a different career opportunity before I can train to fly again. I prayed hard and I was directed to choosing Gava for Biblical and practical reasons. 

I’m now on my 2nd month with Gava. So far, I’d say that God has been really gracious on how He continually humbles my heart since He brought me back here. I love my expanding network at it, how I would have a close encounter with different charity foundations and non profit organizations volunteers/managers. I’ve seen successful personal fundraising campaigns and how it has helped a lot of people. I’ve witnessed a family who fought for the life of their sister/daughter, a birthday-for-a-cause fulfilled, animal rescue campaigns, a father reunited with his family, people protecting the country’s president, and a whole lot more. Each program/campaign with the desire to help, to give, to fight for a cause. 

I think I mentioned this before in one of my old blogs, that I don’t support and promote what I do not believe in, it may seem exaggerated but it’s the way it is. I’m pretty sure a lot of us would have that principle too. Gava has always been a company I highly have faith in. Anyone would be so blessed to work for a company that has the mission to give and the vision to see a lot of lives transforming through giving. I do not see it as a regular business, a typical job, it is vitally what our society needs now. In a generation where everyone’s always online, where millennials would want to make a difference, Gava is one ultimate gateway to help our society, school, community, church, foundations and advocacies through online giving. 

There is nothing that I have now that I did not receive. Every good and perfect gift I have is from Above, from my Lord. I do not possess even my own possession. This alone, is a liberating motivation why I give back. 

Let’s give through Gava. 

www.gavagives.com 

A Necessary Detour 

At this very moment in my life, I believe I’m taking a detour. Dictionary defines detour as a way of getting to a place that is indirect and longer than the usual way, and which is taken in order to avoid a particular problem. An alternative route for use by traffic when the usual road is temporarily closed.

I believe I’m in a place where God will still take me to where He promises me to be, but it is necessary for me to go through His redirection, this detour, because He cares more about my heart than my success status. 1 Samuel 16:7 says “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I lost my job almost 2 months ago today, prior to losing it I would always pray that the Lord humbles my heart, *tuh-daa!* prayer granted! Losing my job as a flight attendant has been very humbling. I am grateful to immediately recognized that it was wholly and practically my fault why I got terminated. I was on probationary period for 5months. I knew I was going to take a written exam for my permanency and I did not review, I know my capabilities and I know exams aren’t something I should be complacent with because I know that I easily forget lessons that’s why extra effort of studying is a must for me to grasp things well. So yes, I failed because I deserved to fail. I did not deserve the permanency. Simple analogy, no one is to blame but myself and my irresponsibility. 

I would lie if I’d say that losing my job at PAL didn’t hurt me. I did love the job and I was passionate about it to an extent. Practically, on In-flight Duty Free sales and dealing with passengers; but flight safety knowledge is non-negotiable, and I was weak at safety. Maybe I didn’t love the job enough cause if I did, I would’ve exerted more effort on areas I am weak at. Same with the Lord, there’d be days l’d feel like I don’t love Christ enough to obey Him & be fully convinced of His love for me. Faith, unaccompanied by action is dead. I lost the job because I didn’t take action on the faith I professed. Perhaps, it wasn’t faith at all. 

I cannot expect a pleasant result for things I would do half heartedly. God gives and takes away. He takes away especially when He sees that I am unable to take care of the blessing. I did not take care of mine. Lesson learned, and as a Christian, I am sincerely, deeply and humbly sorry. 

I’m also grateful because though I know that my love for God will never be enough, that no matter how many times I have broken His heart with all the ugly things I’ve done, He remains faithful. His character doesn’t change. And that loving character He has is where I’m holding on to now, to being constantly transformed to becoming a better Christian. I needed this detour to be reminded of all these all over again. 

For now, I want to productively and graciously savor this redirection. I did apply for a job, still as a flight attendant because I sincerely still want to be one. If I make it, I’ll tell you, and please pray with me, that I’ll be good at it this time around, that I will finally be able to show that I really do love the job. If I don’t make it, there will always be somewhere else He will place me in, and I do declare that only by His grace and mercy I will be able to excel at it and give Him glory. His will alone be done. All I know now is no matter what career I end up doing, GRACE will always back me up, I’ll get there when I’m ready. My hope is in Christ. 

“Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I do not get involved with things too great or too difficult for me. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself like a little weaned child with its mother; I am like a little child. Israel, put your hope in the Lord, both now and forever.” Psalms‬ ‭131:1-3‬ 

Struggle Is Real: devil steals, Jesus Heals 

Sin begins in the head, I agree, I extremely agree. Sin begins as an idea brought to life. Sin begins with doubt, with insecurity, with pride. I’ve been sinning heavily in my head lately, and I’d like to share it now because I don’t want to struggle with lies and fearfully keep it to myself. Expose your sin!!! I want to get rid of this state because I’m very sure those ugly thoughts are no good, it would’ve trapped me to deleteriousness  like it did before. 

For the past 2weeks, I find myself “prospecting” for a potential boyfriend, I know it’s embarrassing and it’s an ugly feeling which probably birthed because I’ve been watching love story stuff lately and I wanted those romantic scenes for my life too. But my heart wasn’t in place, I wanted love wrongly and there came my mind thinking “Lord, pwede na ‘to, he’s kinda cute.” asking “Lord, could he be the one?” My gosh!  This is the least thing I want to think of and WORRY about, but they were lingering in my head! 😭 I caught myself sinning again on this aspect. And it’s my weakness. 

This usually happens when I don’t allot time reading the Bible & praying, and when I’m not surrounded with my family of believers. Lately, I don’t really get to go church and fellowship with my Christian friends. It’s been mostly about work. So I lost track, lost security. It’s amazing that my devotions lately would emphasize a lot about security. It’s what I’ve actually been praying for: to be so secured in Christ that I won’t feel the need of having someone to take care of me not out of pride but simply out of a hear fully satisfied, secured and content with the love I get from Above, from Him. Well, we’ll get there, by God’s grace. But I have to expose and confess this for now so I’ll get my reward in full.

6years single, 1year not dating, and Valentine’s Day is coming. Does my life suck? I’m very very excited as I share this. Last 2 weeks has been a roller coaster ride in my head. I’ve dealt with emotions I haven’t felt in a long time. These are emotions I don’t really like, willing spirit & weak flesh: being attracted at a non-Christian, flirting, compromising, negotiating with God in my head, asking “Lord, could he be the one?”. I never thought I could still actually feel all these. I panicked, (but I think) it was a good kind of panicking cause since I wasn’t feeling peace, I had to call Steffi and Issa, my spiritual leader/friends. I confessed what I was going through and had them pray for me. 

False love makes me out of focus, makes me insecure and self centered, false love makes me very irrational, makes me forget my responsibilities. I forgot I was charging my powerbank the other week because of a guy (I though) I liked. I had a flight to Cebu and it totally didn’t cross my mind to unplug it because I was distracted. Look, that doesn’t seem to make such a big deal to some, but it is to me, cause it’s a symptom already. I hope you don’t get the wrong impression on this, I just really really really wanna be preserved & reserved for my God’s Best. Bible says we have to be careful and sober-minded with our decision making. That moment made me backtrack to all the unworthy thigs I did in the name of FALSE love. Goosebumps! 

Eventually, God answers. Could that someone really be the one? And He clearly showed me a big NO. I began to see that the guy doesn’t seem to match the things in my prayer list. It’s good when you keep a non-negotiable list. It sets the standards, it gets your mind and heart back in place. Praise God for I am more discerning now, and I already get to fight my thoughts. Praise God for friends to pray with and His’ powerful Word that would speak gently yet firmly to me. He assured me in Psalm 121 that He will not allow my foot to slip. He knows I’m weak at this area, and He just wanted me to humble myself and ask for help. He is my Protector and He won’t slumber in guiding & getting me out of trouble. He will protect my life now and forever. 

2 of things to remind us SINGLES this commencing Valentine’s Season and always: 

1) Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, GUARD YOUR HEART, for everything you do flows from it. – Beshy, this is a serious deal. I used to think that tiny sins in my head don’t really matter, but these itsy-bitsy bad ideas led me to huge troubles then. Guarding your heart is an action verb, effort! Stay away from sin, choose your thoughts, confess it to someone who can pray for you. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, when I had those bad thoughts the other week I totally lost my focus, no peace, that’s what the enemy does.  Jesus came that we may have life, and have it abundantly – John 10: 10. It practically felt like Christ fought for me during the two weeks of struggling. He swiftly answered my critical questions. Again, my non-negotiable list on my “God’s Best” helps a lot, it has kept me on standards. Make your own list too! It also made me realize that I really am still worldly in a lot of ways cause I’d get attracted to someone that doesn’t meet what I pray for. That’s what I pray to be changed now! So yeah, it takes deliberate effort to guard your heart.

2) Colossians 3:2 SET YOUR MIND on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. | Romans 8:5-7 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so. — Peace is everything! Only Jesus can give it! If you don’t have peace, think again! Don’t be scared assessing yourself and questioning your thoughts. 

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” -Jesus



Note To Self: You will never perish, no one will snatch you out of Christ’s  hand. May you always find security and fullness of love in Him. GB is yet to come. For now, savor the life of being single and freely, peacefully, joyfully centered in His’ will. 💞 😉  

2 Months Married

To my job. Yes, married to my job. Don’t worry, I’m not idolizing this career. That’s one thing I prayed for, that He grants me a job I won’t value above Him in my life. In case it happens, might as well take it away. I don’t want anything anymore, or even anyone to be my priority more than the relationship I have with Jesus. That would be exhausting.

I call it marriage because I believe a Christ-centered marriage doesn’t contradict or overpower God in your life, and it points people to His glory. A Christ-orchestrated-marriage is a glorious thing, it is savored with blessings and favor and peace. It also comes with challenges, with learning what to unlearn, what to get rid off to make the marriage work out, and acquiring certain qualities that will help the marriage flourish. A Christ-centered marriage, I also believe won’t go through divorce/annulment/separation. It is ever persevering and pressing on to work out, to get better.

My first two months at work were perfectly imperfect. I realized I have so much to learn. I’ve been checked 3x by cabin safety managers on my first month and it felt like all my boo-boo’s piled up and it caused me so much frustrations. These are some of the things I learned though: 1) I had to ACCEPT that I have so much to work on, I can’t just cry it out, I gotta work it it out. Exert an effort, do something to help myself get better; because faith without action is dead. In James 2:24 it says that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone. If I want excellence, I must not be complacent, I must work. 2Thessalonians 3:10 says “If anyone isn’t willing to work, he should not eat.” 2) I’m still adjusting, my gosh I’ve only been “married” for two months. I can’t be too “OC-hard” on myself. I should be grateful for the pointers I’m getting, because it gives me all the chances to get better NOW. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11 3) I won’t give up on my marriage. He won’t give me anything I can’t handle. My flesh and my heart fails: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. -Psalm 73:26 

In a marriage, counseling is also important. I’m glad and blessed that He orchestrated flight schedules with people to encourage me, give constructive criticisms and teach me matters to help me improve at work. (Divine appointments!) The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15 I’m guilty for being a fool at some point, not wanting to accept that there are things that I have to work on with. People won’t notice a mistake and tell you more than twice if it doesn’t exist. I’m convicted. I have to change — for the better. 

Honestly, I’m challenged at my job. There are perks, yes, free travels, sustenance of food and comfortable place to stay in. But I don’t want to focus on the perks, I want to be good. I want to glorify Him with how I perform. I want to change, be transformed for this marriage to work out. Pray with me. 

Let’s pray for each other. May our careers give Him glory. 

Let the favor of the Lord our God be on us; establish for us the work of our hands– establish the work of our hands! Psalm 90:17

The LORD will grant you a blessing on your storehouses and on everything you do; He will bless you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 28:8