23 Notes To Ponder On

In random order.

1. May we not be narcissistic in reading the Bible. May we have Christ centred hermeneutics. – The American Gospel (https://youtu.be/ocHm18wUAGU)

2. Catechism is something I want to teach my nieces and nephews and my future children. https://reformed.org/documents/index.html?mainframe=https://reformed.org/documents/cat_for_young_children.html

3. No matter how strong or clever you are, you are not your own saviour. You are not your own redeemer. That’s a dead end if you’re going to depend on your own strength and your own wisdom. -Dr. Bryan Chapell

4. What is the only reason that sin has any power in your life? The answer is… because you love it. – The American Gospel

5. The goal of a lecture is that you leave with information. The goal of a motivational speech is that you leave with action steps. The goal of a GOSPEL SERMON, teaching the Bible is that you leave worshipping. – J.D. GREEAR

6. The feeling of pleasure that comes after retail therapy is always short-lived. Ego always looks for something else and wants something more. -Pick Up Limes (YouTube)

7. To everyone who wants a safe, carefree life, away from danger, stay away from Jesus and His great commission. – G3 Conference 2019

8. Right where you are could be your possible mission field atm. Some, are called to go, others would have to stay, and go where they stay. Bible says go to the unreached, how sure are you that your colleague, your neighbour, you brother already heard the Gospel? – Just me.

9. “Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes.” “Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.” 1Peter 3:3-4 — GRACE, PLEASE.

10. Better to be single for the rest of your life & obeying God in the gleaning of the fields than disobey God and have what has been forbidden to you. – probably heard this from Voddie Baucham

11. This is so beautiful but I forgot where I read it from. So sorry. But here it goes: It’s through the deepest suffering that God has taught me the deepest lessons. If we trust Him for it, we can come into an unshakable assurance that He’s in charge, He has a loving purpose, and He can transform something terrible into something wonderful.

“Father,

I love You. I lay down all that I am before you, my Lord. Every regret, pain, joy, I lift them all to you. Enable me through Your Holy Spirit to offer all of me to You. I want to be living my life for Your glory. I want to love selflessly and find delight in doing so. I pray to not lose track of Your Grace. You have brought me this far, and You will take me further and deeper in this Christian faith. I am rededicating myself to You. Help me, Almighty Father. Comfort me, sustain me, strengthen me, heal me. Enable me to move forward with joy and gladness. Enable me to act upon every lesson you have taught and are yet to teach me. Keep my eyes on You, the author and perfecter of my faith. Protect and guide and save all my loved ones. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.”

12. You are not a piece of meat to satisfy the sinful, fleshly desires of a man. -Voddie Baucham

13. If you are so committed to feeling safe, how will you ever risk your life for Jesus? If you are so fragile and cowardly, that you will shut down those who love you by speaking hard truth to you, how will you speak love to those who hate you? – John Piper

14. The consumption of social media, movies, entertainment, demands of career, the quest to consume more and more entertainment, toys, money, travel — DO NOT SATISFY. A life devoted to consumption consumes life. – J. Piper

15. With boldness therefore at the throne, Let us make all our sorrows known, And ask the aid of heavenly power, To help us in the evil hour. – Hymn from Hebrews

16. “The mercy of God is an ocean divine, a boundless and fathomless flood.” Let us plunge out into the mercy of God and come to know it. I hope you believe this, because you’re going to need this mercy desperately if you don’t already have it. The mercy of God in Christ Jesus — amen and amen! -A.W. Tozer

17. “Self-chosen silence is the new expression of social empowerment in the digital age. Silence is freedom.” https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/why-we-should-escape-social-media

18. Question: What’s your fear? Me, to live in a place where my sins aren’t confronted and my false decisions are tolerated. I think one of the reasons why I evidently see why my faith is ALL GRACE is because God surrounded me with people who truly cared to tell me what was wrong & told me that I was sinning.

19. For the greatest way to achieve social and cultural transformation is not by focusing on social and cultural transformation, but by giving our lives to gospel proclamation — to telling others the good news of all God has done in Christ and calling them to follow Him. The fruit of such salvation will be inevitable transformation — of lives, families, communities and even of nations. -Marshall Segal

20. If Christian dating—the intentional, selfless, and prayerful process of pursuing marriage—sounds like slavery, we don’t get it. If low-commitment sexual promiscuity sounds like freedom, we don’t get it. Jesus may ask more of us, but he does so to secure something far better for us. -Marshall Segal “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him” (Phil. 3:8–9)

21. This was from NextGen KIDS CHURCH! : Truth that hurts is always better than lie that conceals, that will stress you out, won’t put you to sleep & destroy your relationships. To live in a lie is to lead one to eternal destruction.

22. Our total depravity means we are in need of a perfect Savior who is able to do what we cannot do for ourselves – and the good news of the Gospel is that such salvation is available to us in the Son, Jesus Christ, who is the holy God incarnate. We may be wretched, but we can still rejoice and be sanctified. Paul affirms this in the latter part of Romans 7: “Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!” I couldn’t put it any better myself. Total depravity is a doctrine of grace because the abounding grace of God Himself is the only hope that we have. -Whole Magazine Devotion

23. AKALA KO

Napakarami, napakaraming bagay na aking inangkin na inakala ko’y nakalaan para sa akin. Napakalawak ng kasakiman at kasamaang nananalaytay sa aking pagkatao. Napakalalim ng sugat na pilit na pinapagaling sa oras na hindi pa nararapat ang paghilom. Napakadaming pagkakataon na aking pinalagpas sa bawat segundong ako’y Kanyang hinahabol, habang ako ay patuloy na nagpupumiglas sa Kanyang gracia’t kabutihan.

Rebelde lamang noong umpisa, hanggang sa nalulon na sa sistema ng mundo, nagpakaputa, nagpakawala, nagpa-alipin sa dimonyo. Napakamakasalanan ko, tanging alikabok at lugmok ang nararapat sa aking marupok na pagkatao.

Wala na akong pag-asa, wala ng magandang kinabukasan ang nag-aabang. Wala ng mukhang maihaharap sa Kanya, wala ng hininga, tanging maiaalay ay ang pagod na katawan, matang namumugto sa bigat ng luha na humagod sa mukhang hindi na maipinta. Wala na akong pag-asa. Wala ng saysay ang aking buhay. Yan, yan ang akala ko.

Akala ko’y walang kapatawaran ang aking mga kasalanan. Ako’y nagkamali. Sa gitna ng aking pagkakadapa, sa lalim ng pighati, sa bigat ng pagsisisi sa aking puso, Siya’y nagpakilala. Ako’y ibinangon sa pagkakadapa, sinagip, iniligtas. Ang kabayaran ng kasalanan ay kamayayan, ngunit ang biyaya ng Panginpon ay walang hanggang buhay sa pamamagitan ni Hesu Kristo, aking Diyos at Tagapagligtas.

•••

Mapagpala at Maaawaing Ama, maraming salamat sa kapatawaran ng aking mga kasalanan. Maraming salamat sa bagong buhay na akin ng tinatamasan simula ng ako’y nagsisi sa aking mga kasalanan at inihandog sa Iyo ang aking buhay. Lahat yan ay dahil sa Iyong Garcia. Hindi ko kailanman matutumbasan ang Kabutihan mo, at mababayaran ang lahat ng pagkukulang ko. Ngunit sadyang napakabuti Mo, sapagkat Ikaw mismo ang gumawa ng paraan upang ako’y hindi manatili sa imprerno.

Espiritu Santo, ako’y Iyong patuloy na tulungan at gabayan, palalimin ang kaalaman sa Iyong salita at piliin lagi ang Iyong gawa. Sa pamamagitan mo lamang aking magagampanan ang tungkulin na bigyang pugay ang Iyong pangalan, palaganapin ang mabuting balita, mahalin ang mga taong kagaya ko. Makasalanan, na nailigtas dalawang libong taon ang nakakalipas ni Hesu Kristo, na inialay ang Kanyang dugo’t katawan, ipinako sa Krus upang pagbayaran ang kasalanan ng sanlibutan, nabuhay muli pagkalaan ng tatlong araw, bumalik sa Ama, at muling bababa sa lupa balang araw, para husgahan ang mundo.

Ako’y umaasa, wala ng pagaakala, tanging kasiguraduhan at pananampalaya ang kinakapitan ng aking buong diwa. Ang bawat luha ay mawawala, ang bawat sakit ay mapapawi, balang araw ay habang buhay kong makakasama ang aking Diyos.

May pag-asa. Sa ngalan ng Ama, ni Hesu Kristo, at ng Espiritu Santo. Amen.

Advertisements

Pre Flight (Heart) Check

Mga dalawang buwan din akong hindi nagsulat, ngayon ay paalis ako sa desiyerto, para magbakasyon ng isang linggo kasama ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Tapos sa January, one month din with my loved ones in the USA.

Lately, I’d always ask God to give me wisdom on what to write, pero pakiramdam ko parang nasabi ko na lahat, parang wala ng bago. Yung mga bagay that I stand for in life, parang sobrang wala na akong mapigang wisdom, feeling ko stagnant water ako, yung knowledge ko parang walang nangyayari. Feelingera nanaman ako. Buti nalang hindi emotion ang basis ng salvation, mabuti nalang hindi nirerequire ni Lord ang eloquence at mataas na IQ & knowledge sa theology sa pagbigay Nya ng opportunity to know Him more. Kasi nga lahat naman Grace lang Nya. Daming insecurities, mabuti hindi din minus points yun sa realidad na one day, pupunta ako sa langit, doon, wala ng hassle, hindi na ako iiyak, hindi na ako mapapagod kakafigure out ng buhay.

Philippines won the Miss Universe crown a few days back, galing ni Catriona Grey, I’m a fan. Ang saya ko cause marunong na ako mag rejoice for others’ success. Pero I’m irritated at the selfish feeling in my chest, na flashback: dream ko dati yan e. Tatlong taon I pursued it, and hindi yun para sakin. Minsan nakakapikon yung entitlement sa puso ko, when I dream of achieving other’s destiny. I have to remind myself na hindi na ako yun, and it was never meant for me. My profession is totally different now. I pray na maalagaan ko kung ano ang meron ako and kung sino ako ngayon. I pray that I don’t let the opportunities of today pass me by, dahil lang sa nagmumukmok or na-sasad ako na hindi ako nagka-korona. Ungrateful ba? Oh well, may God work in my heart.

I want to be grateful, hindi yung showbiz gratefulness, yung legit!!! Yung nararamdaman ko talaga hindi based on the physical or material, but on the things unseen yung gratefulness ko. I want to be spiritually satisfied about this life I have now. Ang dami dami-daming oras at pagkakataon para mas makilala pa ang Panginoon. I don’t want to procrastinate anymore. Salamat talaga sa constant assurance of His Word, na steadfast ang love Nya, na hindi nauubos ang biyaya Niya, na faithful Siya. Kung hindi ako nareremind ng Word Nya, wala na, kawawa na ako, for sure wala ng direction ang mga plano ko sa buhay.

Isa sa pinaka malaking panalangin ko ay nasagot na, nakapunta na ako ng America after not seeing my parents for 15years and some of my siblings for more than 8years. This coming 2019, I want to pray new prayers and dream new dreams. Gusto ko maging productive and full of achievements, gusto ko mamultiply and mamaximize ang lahat ng bagay that He entrusted to me. Pagdadasal ko pa ‘tong mga ‘to. Many are the plans in my heart, pero purpose pa din ni Lord ang magpe-prevail.

Siguro bottom line is miss ko lang talaga makapag spend ng quality time with God. I want His wisdom. I want His peace. Ang dami-daming nangyayari, kung hindi ako lumilipad for work, I’ll be on a vacation, or busy with my online business, or socializing, or kung saan-saan nakakarating. Honestly, nakakapagod din minsan ang leisure, si Jesus lang kasi talaga nakakapag-satisfy ng heart ko. Haiiii.

Haiii Lord, GRACE PLEASE! Paramdam ka ng bongga. Miss You, I pray na nagglorify kita sa lahat ng ginagawa ko. Thank You for never leaving nor forsaking me. Thank You for the gift of rest. Thank You for always being at work sa heart and mind ko. Please give me a safe flight to Singapore in a few hours, and a favoured & smooth flight to Manila. Allow every moment of my days off to be filled with YOU, cantered in YOU, dedicated to YOU. I need You. I need Your GRACE! ❤️

Xxx

9 Words of Encouragement to Struggling Single Women (by Reformed Theological Women)

(October 18, 2018)

Yesterday, I asked my sisters in Christ from all over the world in a Reformed Theological Women group I’m in regarding a personal concern, my usual struggle, “Singleness X Marriage”. I’d like to share with you the heartwarming godly advices I received, just in case you do have the same heart concerns as mine. I hope it encourages you as much as it has encouraged me.

This was my question:

Any advise for a single, 28yr old woman, who feels like she’s still struggling with trusting God with her desires for marriage?

That’s actually me. I’m aware this is part of my sanctification. I just wanna know if anyone can relate, how do you deal with all your friends getting engaged/married, while you’re trying to get rid of self pity?

Please pray for perseverance. Please pray that I truly trust Him. I feel like this struggle is too selfish, and there’s a lot more important stuff that I shall be minding, but this season is really kinda tough.

And these were the messages I received:

1) It is tough. “Don’t give up, don’t give in, give it all to Him…” Grab ahold of some promises and don’t let go for even an instant. I [finally] met my husband when I was 36. I got married at 38, had my son one week before I turned 39, and we have been together for 27 years. It’s worth it to wait! Trust the Lord, he loves you so much more than you can imagine. I can’t tell you why the Lord makes some of us wait, but I can tell you that he DOES know what he’s doing. (I claimed a promise in Isaiah 34:16 “Seek from the book of the Lord, and read: Not one of these will be missing; None will lack its mate. For His mouth has commanded, And His Spirit has gathered them.”) Don’t give up! Don’t give in. Rejoice with your friends, since Romans instructs us to “rejoice with those who rejoice.” Their joy takes nothing from you, just as their suffering would give nothing to you. Blessings to you dear heart.

2) I got married at 29, after being raised in such a way that I was ready and waiting to get married since I was 16. It was hard to see all the girls 10 years younger than myself get married and start having babies. I love children and want my own badly (note- even if you do get married at some point, there will likely ALWAYS be something you want just out of reach.) While I know everyone’s so very different, I do wish I’d appreciated my single years more while I was in them. Scripture makes it clear, a married woman takes care of what her husband wants (super paraphrased) while single women can focus on taking care of what the Lord wants. The ability to immerse yourself in study, to participate in missions and events without having a home and husband to worry about is honestly something I miss. I’m by no means saying marriage is undesirable, but singleness is ALSO desirable. It’s not like a sickness, to be cured. It’s another element of life to be used because the Lord has blessed you with it. I don’t know if that’s helpful… if I’m making my thoughts clear. I just would encourage you to see the freedom and independence as benefits to take advantage of, for the glory of God.

3) 27 and single here. I find myself praying often that the Lord allows me to truly “rejoice with those who rejoice” when weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers all come up.

I also try to look at all the benefits of my single life right now. For me, it’s building confidence on my own, learning to manage finances, being more freely able to help others, etc. I feel more prepared to eventually be in a relationship/marriage if that’s what the Lord has for me than some of my friends who married younger were.

I also think that a common misconception is that as a single woman, you can’t be a “keeper of the home.” Keep your house clean, cook lovely meals for yourself, show hospitality by inviting groups of people over to your house. People tend to think of hospitality as more of a married woman’s game but it’s totally not.

The biggest thing I can say has helped me is not to isolate yourself. Find things you enjoy and go do them. Spend time with family and friends. Keep spending time in the word regularly. And occasionally spend a whole day home alone in your pj’s watching movies. 😂

4) Heyy!! There’s a class that I took.. Gods perspective of us. And the foundation of it is.. we are a wife before we are a “wife”.. meaning we are the bride of Christ before we are a physical bride here on earth.. and learning to serve and completely surrender to Christ..

There’s also some practical sessions as well for when you’re physically married.. but the concept is that A Man who finds a wife.. not a man who finds a woman and marries her and then she becomes a wife.. if you’re interested in the class let me know! There was a lot of great disciplines..

5) I remember this feeling. I did get married young, but most of my friends were married or engaged a bit before me. No one was available in our church, for me.

I prayed a lot, read an Elisabeth Elliott book on marriage, and Keep A Quiet Heart. I decided to do my best at what I was currently called to do. And it was obvious where God meant for me to be at that time.

It was when I had found contentment and would have been happiest to stay that way forever that God blessed me with a man. And he had waited what felt like eternity for him. He was 27 almost 28 when he married me.

I was working in a library, volunteering at church and home school co-op and plugging myself and heart and soul into everything and everyone that called out to me.

God may not have wanted me to marry and so I decided to do the most I could for others as though I was going to be single forever.

I did pray a lot though. And I still remember the longing for marriage.

But the more time I had to dwell on my singleness, the more I longed for someone.

6) I didn’t meet and marry my husband until I was 32. I struggled a lot with the prolonged singleness, especially in my late 20s. Turning 30 flipped a switch in me and I felt like I was 18 and full of hope and excitement for life again. I think the longer my singleness went on & the more I embraced it and life became that much more vibrant for me. In fact, when I did meet my new husband, I didn’t even want to hang out or date him (somehow I just knew he was the one) because I didn’t want to get tied down and was finally enjoying my singleness. Anyway, he won me over regardless & we were married 5 months after meeting.

7) Hey girl, I know that feel. Where I’m coming from: In a relationship – hoping to be married soon but the Lord is definitely sanctifying me through the waiting season. The yearning is real, but constantly trying to remind myself that when Christ is the supreme goal – there is nothing that life can offer, or that death can take away that can ever surpass the joy of being with my Savior. Have you read the book “Not Yet Married” by Marshall Segal? It’s so good 🙂

8) I’m 29 and single. Trust the Lord that He’s sovereign. Ask for patience and wisdom. Use your time to improve yourself and grow in your faith. Praying for you. ❤

9) While I married fairly young(23), we battled infertility for years. I have several close friends who married much later and I find the longing and the waiting very similar. I would suggest to use this time of waiting to grow in your relationship with Christ, which will be the best possible preparation to be a wife. Pray the same for your potential future spouse. Serve the Lord and the church in obedience while you wait. In my hardest times, serving others has always been the best way for me to deal with my grief. Also, please know that it is ok to grieve for your delayed dreams. Just do it in Christ. He knows our hurt and longing and is our comfort. 💜

•••

Praise God for sisters in the faith from all over the world. Praise God for each time I align my heart concerns to Him and what He has practically placed in my plate at the moment, it’s also when my perspective on my status gets better. There’s still a lot of works to be done, in me, through me, and around me. It’s not like the Lord needs me to get things done. But He is graciously giving me so much privileges and wonderful opportunities to do the works He has prepared for me to do, for His glory. That’s why I do believe that my current heart for marriage is still quite selfish, but valid, for the Lord cares for my heart’s desires. Psalm 103:8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. God knows what I want, but most importantly, He is sovereign, He above knows what I truly need. And it’s not a mate, it’s a heart genuinely aligned with Him & His will, for His will alone shall be done, for His will alone are good, pleasing and perfect.

Also, every good and perfect gift is from Him, I want that! I don’t want to rush things anymore. I don’t want earthly standards, I want the Lord’s will. If marriage isn’t for me, I want to be okay with that, I want to embrace that. I want to count it all joy that I would have to go through various trials, because the testing of my faith produces steadfastness/patience/endurance. Steadfastness must do its complete work, so that I may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. I want maturity in the faith, and maturity takes time, takes the Lord’s grace, I’m waiting on that, my hope is on the abounding grace of my Lord and Saviour. To my sisters in Christ, whether married or single, may we all be the Biblical Women the Lord designs us to be, it’s not easy, but by faith, it is possible — all for His glory.

PS How about you? What are your thoughts on these. I’d love to hear from you too. God bless you.

Single Christian Woman Diary

Yesterday, I was in a flight back to Riyadh from Geneva, it was another unforgettable layover. I didn’t expect I was going to share my story on adultery to a lady struggling with it. Yesterday, I was graciously reminded of my past sin, my weakness & how I’ve struggled years ago, not to pull me down of course, but to be able to empathise & pray. “Been there, done that”, this statement is definitely a reality. In a more precise and personal note: I’ve been through that sin, I’ve committed that sin. And I’m out of that sin by the grace of God, and my job now is to help other women combat that sin. I will never ever support adultery. If you ever see me go back to doing, supporting and celebrating it again, it means I am not truly a Christian, I will spend eternity in hell. But no, by grace, I’m a new creation in Christ.

After the flight, I had an ugly dream last night, which also had something to do with my story on adultery, and despite how the pain of the past felt so real again when I woke up this morning, I’m still very convinced that I’m never going back to my Egypt ever again (by grace), not going back to that place of slavery in my life. I had my quiet time on this issue through Exodus 14 a few months ago @ 12midnight in Paris. The story was about the terrified Israelites complaining to Moses and crying out for help. You know when you get very ungrateful and impatient on waiting on God that all you could think of is complain and want to go back to your past life? What a brat! What a sinner! I’d still get these rebellious thoughts, and good thing they can be killed in the head. Through prayers and Bible reading and with the help of accountability partners, the ugly thoughts may not translate into action. During that quiet morning in Paris, these words spoke to me very clearly: “Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and see the Lord’s salvation He will provide for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet.” Exodus 14:13-14 My battle against my past has nothing to do with the kind of heart I have & everything to do with the kind of God I serve. God is my protector. God is my deliverer. Grace pulled me and will continually pull me out of those potential sins. There is always a way out.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff — they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD as long as I live.

Jesus leads my present and my future, I may not be able to control the things I’d dream about, but I have the choice not to dwell & feel defeated, & to bring my struggles into the light. The Lord fights for me as I keep on persevering by grace.

The world’s way is cheap and easy. Getting a boyfriend is easy. But finding true love isn’t, it’s costly, unless you understand the cost of love, unless you grasp why Christ had to die for you, you will never find true & lasting love. I’ve spent many years being a young lady filled with insecurities, chasing after things that pretend to be love, having a twisted view of love, and over sensationalising my shallow view of it. I don’t want any of those anymore. Eww. My sins suck. I want Jesus. I want Christlikeness. I want His Holiness and Purity.

Semper Reformanda, it means always reforming, continually being changed for the glory of God. I want that. I want to always re-examine myself in order to never misrepresent the Gospel to people. I want to keep on changing, to not conform to the world’s pattern, and continue to be transformed by the renewal of my mind, and to find confidence in Christ’s good, pleasing and perfect will.

Ecclesia reformata semper reformanda (“the reformed church [must] always be reformed”), this is why I’m dedicating this to the Single-Christian-Women, to my always reforming sisters in Christ, we may have different struggles, different avenues of sins, but we do have our One & Only Almighty God to kill ’em all. God will soon crush Satan under our feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with us all.

Let us guard our hearts! We are in this battle together. May we always find security and contentment in Christ. May God continually protect us from temptations in any form. May we never harbour pride in our head thinkin’ we got it all handled, that we don’t need God’s help, which is very wrong, for He’s all we need in times of trouble. He’s the only one who can deliver us out of our sinful selves. May we not be slaves to sin, but slaves of Christ, slaves to righteousness and purity. May we never use our beauty, our body to sexually attract men to ourselves. May we graciously draw people to Jesus Christ and not to ourselves. May we have the integrity to truly love, the wisdom to know true love, the drive to pursue only true love, if not, well, our sins cannot be hidden forever. If we belong to Jesus, if we are chosen and truly His’, we’ve got to be reminded that there’s no room for an unrepentant heart in heaven. May the Holy Spirit’s power be upon us as we battle against wrong principalities, against our selfish desires, against sin.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

15 years later: See you soon, family! ❤️

(These were captured a few minutes after I found out that my visas were approved. Emote!😝) Fifteen years of not being with my family and how I’ve struggled in attempting to get to the United States of America, tapos two weeks ago, finally, binigay na ni Lord yung prayer ko. He gave me both my Crew and Tourist visas. Hallelujah.😌

Fifteen years, & I wouldn’t have it any other way. If it wasn’t fifteen, I would’ve missed the lessons I needed to learn through the years. If it wasn’t fifteen, I’d probably not meet the people I needed to encounter to grow in Spirit and Truth. 2Peter 3:9 says: The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance. I now believe that His’ timing is always perfect, this is a freeing reality and reminder to me each time I’d feel hopeless and impatient with all my prayers. I needed that fifteen years to grow in maturity and in love with Christ. Sabi nga ni Charles Studd, “only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.” Malaking part ng years na naghihintay ako, hindi naman para sa Diyos, but for myself yung prayers ko. Latter part nalang ng fifteen years yung sincerely natutunan kong gawin para sa Diyos ang mga bagay-bagay. Kaya yun, God needed to discipline me, cause the Lord disciplines those He loves diba? He fixed my broken heart first before He granted me His promise. Don’t worry guys, I’m not being hard on myself, sinasabi ko lang yung totoo, ang dami kong selfish passions before, and grateful ako now cause God changed those desires. Dati hindi ko naman love family ko, but by Grace, God enabled me to develop love, care and affection for them. Ang galing. Ang galing ni Lord.

I also wanted to confess this. One of God’s characteristics I find very hard to believe and embrace is Him being my Promise Keeping God, my Provider. I feel like I have a heart similar with Peter at times. Yung I’d be so passionate in doing things for Christ, yung over confident that I will never deny Him, pero feeling ko lang yun, in reality, there’d be so many times na weak yung faith ko. Remember Peter and Christ’s encounter in the book of Matthew 14? Peter asked Christ to come to him on the water right after Christ told Him to take courage, that it is Him, and so Peter shouldn’t be afraid. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I have faith in Christ, but just like Peter, it could be very tiny too. Madalas kasi I would rely on my own effort, I’d look at the things I can do to serve Him, which will never be enough naman, cause Christianity doesn’t work that way nga. Feeling ko kasi my efforts can sustain, I always have the tendency to get intimidated at the situation instead of looking at God. I had a very small view and understanding of who my God is. It takes a whole lot of grace and a whole lot of faith for my relationship with my Father God to work. I think one of the reasons why I had a lot of failed plans in life is because my faith was very very little. I was more delusional, irrational and emotional at what I wanted for my life then than faithful. My desires then weren’t aligned with God’s will, because they weren’t good desires, because I didn’t know God’s will, I think it’s a huge factor that we know the will of the Lord through the Bible for us to find confidence in our prayers. Pero dati I’d treat Bible only as a self help book, so how would I know the will of God if one sided lang ako? If I’d only pick my favourite verses, kahit out of context, ipagpipilitan ko yung will ko. So I was the god of myself before, consultant ko lang si God dati, ang sad diba? I didn’t revere and honour Him then. I was always entitled and after self glorification. My desires then were meant to drown me, to kill and destroy me. Well, it almost did. Pero wala e, Grace happened. God saved & pulled me out from all my selfish plans.

In a worldly perspective, parang sobrang hassle and sobrang hirap malayo sa pamilya, most especially sa mga magulang. Pero looking at those fifteen years of being away from my family, I kind of see it now as God’s protection. Imagine if natuloy ako sa States fifteen years ago, feeling ko walwal ako ngayon, miserable, and malayo kay Christ yung heart ko. Napaka arte and napaka selfish ko kasing anak dati. Parang, hello? Only child ka? Seven kaming magkakapatid, by the way. Plus I have a half eldest sister pa.

You’re probably wondering why I had to post my visa on social media. To me kasi, it’s more than just a visa, more than just a ticket to the reunion I’ll have with Papa, Mama, my siblings, in laws and my huge family everywhere in the USA. It’s a promise of the Lord for me, a dream I was so sure of and certain with though I do not see it yet. By grace, wag na sana ako ever mag doubt on what He’s capable of doing. By grace, I pray I’d stop putting God in a box as if I got it all figured out, ayoko na maging atribida hehe. By grace, may I rely and trust Him with all my heart, that He won’t leave nor forsake me & my family. By grace, sobrang gusto ko pa ma-inlove kay Jesus, I pray He protects my heart and mind from the distractions of the world that may cause delay to His tasks for me. By grace, may my life glorify Jesus & Him alone.

I’m excited to see my family, to sleep like sardines with all my siblings, to play dress up with Ela & Elo, sing worship songs while Papa plays the guitar, go shopping & learn how to cook with Mama (nux!), workout with Paul, watch NBA with all of them, climb mountains in Hawaii with the Bowman family, attend the G3 conference in Georgia with Ela and so much more!!! I’m excited to love them more and more, by grace, through faith, in Christ!

Praise God for prayers He answered through closed doors. Praise God for developing my patience and perseverance. Praise God for rejections and failed plans. Praise God for answered prayers, for new prayers to pray & for new dreams He will bring to life. Praise God in any and every season. Ultimately, praise God for forgiving all my sins by sending Jesus to die for me.😭 Love You, Father, Son & Spirit!!!

PS We shall update these photos below!!!

When Your Past Sins Hunt You

I’ve been consistently dreaming of my past sins for more than a week. I tried to ignore it but it bothered me until I finally saw myself again leading to a situation/scenario very close to it.

Lust, what goes with this sin? Adultery, immorality, fornication, maliciousness. These are sins that I find very hard to admit, especially because I think it’s very embarrassing, you sin against your own body when you commit it, but these were my sins and I cannot and shall not conceal them.

I’ve learned, through the help of my sisters in Christ, to get to the root of why these sins would mentally affect me again. If I’m truly a new creation in Christ, why would I still be bothered by it? They’re just dreams, but just like what my mentor told me, dreams are things I cannot control; most of the time it reveals things I may be longing for. I was able to point out that those lustful dreams would resurface because of my desire for affection, to be with someone, to be married, to have a “God’s Best” as we call it in church. I recently watched a love story movie, and that triggered emotions in me too. Now, I’m more aware of the things I shall be careful of watching for I tend to over romanticise fictitious matters. I realised that purity isn’t merely keeping yourself sexually inactive, purity is a pursuit of the mind & the heart too. Purity in protecting my emotions from wandering at ideas and thoughts that may ruin my sanity. I also had to admit (to my long distance accountability partners, Carla/Cherish and Dia/Divine) that I’d long to be affirmed, to be loved, to be wanted. Sin begets sin. My lustful dreams caused by my dissatisfaction in Christ led me to days of rambled thoughts and anxiety. I felt as if there were so many issues in my life that I have yet to deal with, that I have to fix, & I felt paralysed at solving them all at the same time, that it eventually frustrated & confused me even more.

On the week of my struggle, a verse from Psalm 51 kept iterating in my head: “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation & grant me a willing spirit to sustain me”. I believe God would also speak to me through James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” What could be more direct than that?

After I read it, someone from the past all of a sudden sent me an invite to have coffee with him. I met that man at the peak of my lostness & I’d sin with him. I’m glad that the Holy Spirit in me is just too wise to recognize baits. I replied with: “sure ☺️” it was then that I also realised that I’m always just a tiny tilt closer to going back to my old self. But God won’t let that happen. I immediately became accountable to my friends in the faith, I told them to stop me from doing things I’m sure I would regret. I asked for prayers.

Before my flight to Paris, I was alone in my room, crying, confessing my sins to God, being sorry for all I’ve done in the past and during that week. I’d listen to sermons that gave me a fresh understanding of my identity in Jesus: that I am His coheir, that I am His bride, that I am His bondservant. I think part of my joy’s restoration is to get to this part all over again, Psalm 51 also says it is not in sacrifices that the Lord is delighted, but His sacrifices are a broken spirit, He will not despise a broken and contrite heart. Oh yes, I will never outgrow my need for the Gospel. I had nothing to offer, only my tears, my brokenness, my fear of losing my salvation (which by grace, will never happen), and my knees bent down and my hands up high, telling Him: “I’m sorry, forgive me, I’m tired, I surrender.”

My prayer before my flight to Paris was to spend time with Jesus as I get there. My initial plan after my afternoon tour was to go to a wine place at night and drink after a quick rest in the hotel. You see how contradicting my plans are with my prayer? But He cleverly didn’t wake me up, I set my alarm at 9pm and I didn’t hear it at all, I woke up at 12 midnight instead, where everything was closed, it was already dangerous to go out, my flying partner was asleep, I couldn’t even order for food — because what I needed that very moment was spiritual food. God has irresistible ways of getting my attention. He wins, always. I had a three hour quiet time with Him. He spoke to me through Exodus, which talks about the Israelites complaining to Moses and wanting to go back to Egypt. “Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness,” (Exodus 14:12 ESV). Many times in my life I’d be like that, unconsciously desiring to return to my Egypt out of impatience, because of the inconsistency of my trust and reverence to the Lord, & ultimately because of my lack of understanding on who He is that pollutes my confidence on His plans for my life. I wouldn’t look to Jesus, I was so focused at my sins that I’d forget the vastness of my God’s love for me.

You know what brought me to total peace after it all? Moses’ response to the Israelites: “And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”” Exodus 14:13-14

I will never ever forget that morning in Paris, God confirmed to me that it is finished. The sin of lust is done in my life, for Christ has delivered me from it. My longing for a husband, well, Christ is my future husband as I marry Him in heaven one day. My anxiety in serving people out of pride and insecurity, wiped away, for I am His bondservant. “For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ.” 1Corinthians 7:22 It can’t get any clearer than this. I am free in Jesus Christ. I am not going back to my Egypt.

I think, just like the Apostle Paul, I will always have my thorn in the flesh, sin/s that may hunt me, that may attempt to resurface. Thank God my salvation isn’t based on my emotions, neither the things I do for Him (cause I fail Him most of the time), nor any knowledge I’ve acquired, (for I am foolish & forgetful). I thank Him because even if I’m faithless, He remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself. That’s what makes my God supreme, that while I am still a sinner, while I need to face the consequences because of what I did in the past, He died for me. While I’m still struggling, He already worked things out for me. He won’t ever give me any challenge I cannot carry, and even if there seems to be no way out, He will provide a way out.

Please continue to pray for me. I want to know & love Him more. I want to revere and worship Him better. May Jesus be glorified in my life. May I finish the race strong.

•••

Romans 5

Peace with God Through Faith

1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

My Turbulent FA Journey

It’s been exactly a year since I became a Flight Attendant for Philippine Airlines; and though I only flew for 5months with my country’s flag carrier, I will always be grateful for what the Lord has taught me through my “turbulent” journey with PAL.

I never knew I would be in love with hospitality/customer service job 35,000 feet above sea level until the PAL opportunity came along right after my final year at Bb. Pilipinas (2016). If you were able to read my blog (A Necessary Detour & While the Failing Continues, The Failure Continues) several months back, you’d know that I was actually terminated for failing my written permanency exam. Looking back though, I think the reason why God allowed me to get fired was more than just not qualifying the permanency.

While I was working for PAL, I became in denial that the job was actually becoming my idol. My quiet time was becoming too quiet that I wouldn’t want to spend time reading my Bible, I wanted to Fellowship with my friends at church but I was half hearted in serving the Lord, I neglected opportunities (I dropped my BibleMesh class) where I had the chance to get to know Him more. I wouldn’t give much value to God, the same way I’d give value to my layover activities, my dream destinations, to my OOTD’s, my Instagram posts (which I deleted shortly after my termination, none of it really mattered). This season in my life reminded me of Ecclesiastes, where the writer talks about how depressing it is to seek happiness in the things of the world.

According to GotQuestions.Org: This book gives Christians a chance to see the world through the eyes of a person who, though very wise, is trying to find meaning in temporary, human things. Most every form of worldly pleasure is explored by the Preacher, and none of it gives him a sense of meaning. It’s key verse is Ecclesiastes 1:2 Vanity of vanities,’ says the Preacher, ‘vanity of vanities, all is vanity’. Sadly, this is very similar to how I spent most of my time flying with PAL. I was distracted by the world. As a Christian, I should be a world changer, not a world chaser. In PAL, I chose the latter.

The Epistle of Paul to Titus, (chapter 2) talks about the saints denying ungodliness & worldly lust, seeking the Lord, living soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world. I wasn’t seeking the Lord while I was flying for PAL. I placed Him behind, and navigated my life the way I wanted to. (Nagmarunong nanaman po ako. Feeling ko nanaman I could take care of my self.) For a few months, I was delusional, the world ate me up. — And that, I do not want happen ever again. I pray that His grace sustains me in my new journey with the new Airlines I am currently training for.

I’m already on my last 2 weeks at training to once again be a Flight Attendant. I am very grateful that He gave me another chance to pursue this career. So far, training has been very good, I can say it’s lovelier the second time around. By Grace, my Quiet Time has been good. By Grace, I would get better grades at my exams, nothing below 90%, I pray it remains this way until the end. By Grace, I would enjoy getting to know the 18 new classmates I have at training (but of course I love pa din my PAL ICCT16-12 family, the #Victorious1612 lol) and more women from other batches, some of different nationalities. My prayer for this brand new journey, I tweaked it a bit: that none of the things I would be tasked to do in this new opportunity given to me will be in vain, that I do not value this opportunity above God in my life, that I do not take it for granted, and that it humbles me, MORE & ALWAYS. May I never find the world pleasurable. May I never ever forget my First Love, Jesus Christ.

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13 On top of it all, I’ve witnessed and experienced that my faith in Christ Jesus is the ultimate job entrusted to me. The faith I have that He graciously poured out through and in me is my ultimate standards of pursuing a career. Life on earth is brief, time is running, why would I settle for things that do not have eternal bearing? In case that happens again, which I hope not, please rebuke me.

Few more weeks till graduation day. May I give Him glory for the rest of my time at training, post grad, and beyond. To my failures, to redirection, to new endeavours, to success, to every sadness turned to gladness, to God be all the glory!

While the Failing Continues, The Failure Continues

I made a promise to give an update regarding my application for this flight attendant job I intensely wanted. Here it is. I was on my way home from a Bible study in Greenhills at about 12 midnight when I checked my email and saw an unread item that got me giddy. The company I applied for finally replied. I got very excited for a second until I clicked and opened the mail. *Breathe* I failed my application as a flight attendant — for Qatar Airways. It hurts. In Tagalog: ANG SAKIT.  

It hurts because I went through a bunch of screenings, and I sincerely believe it all went well. There were about 4 tests before I finally had my final interview. About 2 weeks after my final interview the company asked for a photo of the scar on my wrist. I got it from playing basketball when I was in high school. After I sent the scar photo, 3 more weeks, and I got the reject email.
What’s funny was prior to receiving the rejection, I was very convinced and passionately sharing to my friends about how we should be satisfied at Jesus, and how I felt very satisfied at Him that week. When I got the letter, I broke down. I had to preach the same truth I preached to the girls to myself, how ironic right? 

If counting the number of failures and rejections would be a competition, I’d probably be the grand winner. If rejection was a course in college, I’d probably be the perfect professor for it. The queen of rejection. These were the initial thoughts I had when I failed my application at QR a month ago. I was so hurt.

Let me give you a quick tour to some of the rejections/failures I remember encountering. Nursery, I cried over a juice drink I bought, it was handed to my classmate but I was the one who paid for it. Imagine how traumatic that could be for a child. When I was in 5th Grade, I joined a poster-drawing contest, exerted so much effort on it, during the winner’s announcement, I heard my team’s name being called and I immediately ran to the stage and assumed that it was my drawing that won, until I saw someone from the same team as mine being awarded, I checked, and the drawing that was brought on stage was evidently not mine. I felt so embarrassed, I had to walk down the stage and went home empty handed. In college, I had two ex boyfriends, both lasted for two years, and both of them broke up with me. I desperately ran after the 2nd one, in less than a year after the break up, I found out that he was already getting married. I went to the USA alone when I was 17 years old. I was checked & interrogated for 4hours at Detroit Airport, same day I was sent back to the Philippines because of my message to my grandpa that the immigration officers found at my email account, telling him I wanted to go to the USA and work — with a tourist visa. In all the beauty and modeling contests I joined, I never won even a special award, never made it as a semi finalist, and never experienced the question and answer portion. Modeling gigs, rejected for being short. I only did Philippine Fashion Week once, in 2008, after the height requirement increased, no PFW go sees would accept me. In high school I was given a merit award, I was very very happy because it was the first time for me to get recognized academically. And then a day later my adviser came to me and told me that she made an error, that she overlooked 1 of my subjects which failed to make me get the award by 1%. She said I could keep the merit certificate as a remembrance even if it doesn’t have value anymore. (Ouch.) There was another high school incident when we had this “Shakespeare” oratorical-speech-contest, I practiced hard for it because they said whoever wins will be sent to London, I made it until the final stage of the screening, waited for the announcement, till it was silently announced that the contest will no longer push through, no more London. The teacher who headed it said I was the winner. But there was no more contest, so it didn’t really matter.

If you’ve reached this part of the blog, thank you so much for (virtually) listening. I hope it doesn’t make you feel like this is a self pity party. I only released it all, so I could finally let go of it all. Also, I’m not blaming God nor anyone for any of it. Most of my failures occurred because of my self-serving, vain, unwise and stubborn decisions, and some, maybe are practically just not meant for me.  

On my recent rejection encounter at Qatar, I prayed and asked God to speak to me. I asked Him to make me understand. And He lead me to John 15, here, Jesus talks about Him being the vine and us being the branches, that we will only bear fruit if we will remain in Him. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. I realized that God allowed most of my failures and rejections to occur because I did most of them for my own sake, I got Him a little bit involved in some of it but I wasn’t really doing it for Him. 

For the other rejections that seem strange and unbearable, here’s what Christ has to say: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15:18-19 — It felt like a mic-drop moment of Christ to me. (Medyo napahiya lang naman ako in a gracious way sa mga rants and kaartehan ko kay Lord.) What do I expect out of Christianity? Really? To be loved and adored by the world? The answer is right here: Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 — Now that HIT HARD. Haiii Lord. Please continue to sanctify me until it gets to a point wherein You will solely, wholly and gloriously be pleased with all that I am & do. 

This is an encouragement to us who may have gone through lots of failures and rejections. It’s okay not to be okay. But it’s also vital that we pause and ponder on things, to check our mistakes and acknowledge them, to ask for forgiveness for it, and forgive ourselves because the Lord has forgiven us, to keep trusting no matter how much more failures and rejections we may go through, to accept that failures and rejections are unavoidable. The true measurement of being a Christian isn’t how much praises we get when we experience earthly victories, but how much praises we give Him when we go through tests, struggles and pain. In my 6years in the faith, it is only now that I’m beginning to realize and embrace that Christianity isn’t fancy, it ain’t no fairytale, it could be messy and sorrowful. But Jesus says, in this world we will have trouble, but take heart for He has overcome the world. 😢 

I’ve been back to work for a month now, not an FA job, not something I asked for but something I believe God gave and blesses me with at the moment. Again, we do not skip a season. I’ll probably share about this new-old job of mine on my next blog. I also applied for another airline, and I’ll have my 2nd interview tomorrow. Let’s see how it goes. Until then, Jesus remains faithful, He’s the reason why I keep going. Xxx

25 Things I Learned Before Turning 26

Thank you for the birthday greetings everyone! I’d like to share the 25 things God taught me this year.

  1. Pray without ceasing. Ewan ko nalang kung hindi pa makulitan sakin si Lord and i-grant and birthday prayers ko. 😀FullSizeRender
  2. “As you draw closer to God, you will know your specific calling.” Knowing the Lord isn’t like a cough medicine that you only take when you have cough. To know Him is like drinking water, for to know Him is essential. And by drawing near Him (by reading my Bible, praying, surrounding myself with people who graciously follow Him) I am able to understand better what He’s called me to be.
  3. God answers our deepest wants. Photo below is me and my cousin, Ate Carla. After more than a year since the time we pleaded to God for her prayer request, God has finally answered it! She’s engaged and she’s getting married on March in Hawaii, USA. God’s so good! #SaTamangPanahon 😉  FullSizeRender 7
  4. Adultery is a sin. Flee from it. The Lord hates it.
  5. I am nothing without Jesus. This year was  very heavy and painful for me. It stretched my faith and crushed my filthy heart. And I thank God for allowing the pain, really. I needed that holy crushing!
  6. Christmas is about Him. Not me, not the gifts I receive, not the people I spend it with. It’s the joy and peace of having the greatest Gift for all humanity.
  7. I shall smile often. Hahaha because I wouldn’t. He would teach this yearly and I keep relearning it and I hope I get to apply it this time around. 😀
  8. Be patient. Sa madaming aspeto! Greater things are coming.
  9. Pain is temporary. Yep! Next year, I won’t be as emotional as I was this year. Nakakapagod umiyak! Will save the tears for precious moments. Hehe
  10. In Jesus, I can do all things. I am able to love selflessly (by His’ grace) even if it was a HUGE struggle, for true love submits to the Lord’s will.
  11. He taught me to count my blessings, not my mistakes. Think of at least three things to thank God for in a day, learned this from my friend Steffi.
  12. When He blesses, there is no SIN. My neighbor, Pastor Elo taught me this. He grants us our prayers peacefully. Walang kasalanan na nakalakip!
  13. I’m blessed. I have my FAMILY, the Rabajante’s, my Gift It family, the Fellowship, the DGroup, my SMG family, my Tuesday VGroup, C/B, my mentors. I’m blessed with my brothers and sisters in Christ who would constantly remind me of His’ love!
  14. I’m forgiven. And free! Relearned this one too. I asked for forgiveness to some people I hurt this year and the past years, and they forgave me. Ang liberating ng feeling, sobra. Thank you, Lord.
  15. I shall dream again. Don’t let go of the dreams I had, rebirth ’em!
  16. He made me appreciate friendship this year. My friendship with Issa, Ate Ann, Ate Monica, Ate Mitch (x2), Kris, Steffi and more!IMG_0803
  17. Obedience is better than sacrifice. 
  18. Intimacy is the key! I think one of the nicest decisions I did this year is to make a new Facebook account to intentionally get intimate and updated with the people I care for the most. It’s a marvelous feeling! 😉
  19. Closed doors are answered prayers. Move on!
  20. Life isn’t about your status in life, not your job, not your paycheck, not the brand of your clothes, jewelries you wear. It cannot give you the contentment that only Jesus gives.  -Camz
  21. “Its true, the heart is the most wicked. Think 100 times before believing it! Healing takes time and prayers. Be patient. Give yourself time and give TIME some time. Each day offers a new beginning, a new chance to become a better person. Always believe in God’s divine plan for your life. Always have courage and start your day with a prayer. Every time you’re feeling down, always PRAY. Be dependent on the Lord. Seek His’ will in every moment.” – IssaFullSizeRender 9
  22. It’s okay to be vulnerable. Be vulnerable when you have to! – the book, Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge taught me this.FullSizeRender 12
  23. Your labor for the Lord is not in vain. – God proved me this on the day of my birthday. So many testimonies and answered prayers for my best friends! And more to come!IMG_0903
  24. “Pag mahal ka, babalikan ka.” – Learned this from my favorite teleserye, OTWOL!  😀
  25. It’s all about Him, it has always been and will always be about Him. This year, He multiple-proved me how much He needed to die on the cross for me 2,000 years ago. Ang sakit-sakit ng year 2015 for me! Kaya hindi ako magsasawang magpasalamat Sa’Yo Lord dahil patuloy mo akong pinapatawad, binabago at binibigyan ng pag-asa. 

Thank you, Jesus. ❤

 

A job I don’t complain about

IMG_9256

Yay! An answered prayer this week! I’ve been praying for gigs because I’ve missed modeling, and I’m thankful that He gave me one immediately. The day before I went to the taping of My Fair Lady, a show in TV5, I was very excited and I prayed for so much grace and energy because I knew I was only going to get a few hours of sleep, I slept at 1AM, woke up at 4AM for a 6AM calltime in Novaliches, the taping was packed up at about 2AM the next day. I practically worked for almost 24 hours but I couldn’t complain. I asked for it. Plus, I highly enjoyed doing it.

I played as a model for a fashion show competition of Jasmine Curtis.

FullSizeRender 4It was my first time to wear a wedding gown for a show, and it was really heavy! I hope my future marriage will give me the opposite feeling. Hehe.  FullSizeRender 5

The awkward bride’s smile. 😀

FullSizeRender

At the dressing room with my co-models and Phoemela Beranda, playing as the show’s host.

IMG_9010 IMG_9061

I’ll be very honest here, since my entire blog is themed as a “no pressure” blog, what I meant with no pressure is to “be still”, and with being still comes being comfortable, being yourself, knowing what you want, doing it, and trusting Him above all on areas in my life that may still be a blur. I kind of appreciate my writing now, despite the inconsistencies of my feelings, I still feel accurate and positive about this page because I know He’s the One mentoring and molding me as I write and release all these ideas and thoughts.

So here’s the highlight of my honesty. (That was a long introduction hahaha). It has always been my dream to be in the show business industry. And this time, I’m sure that I really want it. And I won’t be shy about it anymore. I don’t know if a big break will ever come but at this moment, I am okay doing tiny gigs like this one. I want to perform well at whatever will be on my plate. I want to observe and learn more things, of course not just on the aspect of entertainment but also on the spiritual side of it. I always-always-and-FOREVER believe that God is the orchestrator of everything, my shows and gigs are always on His’ call. It’s up to Him to give and take away.

Point is, I guess if He will give me my beauty queen dreams, I’d definitely be glad. If He wants me to be an actress, that’s fine too. Or maybe to be a movie director, a scriptwriter, a marketing manager, I won’t complain. I like any of it – – – for as long a s I have His’ peace and His’ joy, for His’ Name’s sake, I’ll do it!

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful. – John 14:27

Wow. Such a treasure statement! It’s like a password to success, a cracked code! He does not give what the world gives. He’s the only one capable of handing us peace, serenity, tranquility! So there’s no more rushing in running after our dreams, no more short cuts, or even complacency. We just keep our eyes on Him, trust His’ timing, follow His’ ways, and we will never complain about our lives. We won’t be troubled or fearful. We just do our part, and do it the best way we can to GIVE HIM GLORY.

 12243525_999939153385640_1822309383684863612_n

So yeah. This is a job I ultimately cannot and do not complain about: to enjoy His’ gloriousness in my life and see it in the lives of the ones I love and the people He makes me encounter each and every single day. To have this peace in my heart, be always grateful and thankful for the blessings He has for me. Even in the long periods of waiting, I will hear Him, I will see things beautifully, I will actively and passionately be pursuing Him and searching for Him in every task I get, because I can do all things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME. You can too! We are all given the same privilege, go ahead take & enjoy yours! Take Christ! ❤