Do not underestimate what the Lord can do? I did, shame on me. This is the ultimate lesson the Lord taught me the past 3days. Before the True Life Retreat, I was very hesitant to come. You know the ego of a ‘leader’? I had that feeling. I’d ask God, “do I really have to go through this and be a ‘participant’? Should I not be volunteering instead? I’ve done something similar with it before. What else is new to learn?” What made it even more horrible is that I didn’t really promote it to the ladies I’m leading when my dgroup leader asked me to. In my head was this false belief and compartmentalization of the process of accepting Christ. I’d tell myself that I won’t put much effort on inviting my girls to this one because I’m originally not from CCF and their growth must be with my original church, which is Victory. I knooow. It’s stupid, lame, controlling, unfaithful to the church of Jesus Christ. In 1 Corinthians 1:10 Paul says: I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. Boom! Professional Sinner alert. I repented.
The humbling didn’t end there. Nakakahiya talaga but I have to expose my sins. First time in my life (and hopefully the last too), I was standing doing praise and worship on the 1st day and the 1st session of the retreat, I almost fell from a still position because… I was falling asleep. Now I call myself a leader? I started worrying cause I began to recognize that I wasn’t acting okay, there was something wrong but I didn’t know exactly what to pray for. And then I took a nap, when I woke it felt different already. My heart changed on the 2nd session onwards. I had a teachable heart. The testimonies of the speakers would hit me hard, the scriptures I’ve read before felt so new to my ears and peirced my heart as the pastors utter it. I felt like an intense sinner all over again who needed saving. Seriously, I had to repent bigtime for my ugly heart. I cried it out to Him. He humbled my heart again.
Despite my disgusting pride, here’s what He did. My words are not enough to express it. Let the photos speak for itself.
Hallelujah. He is King. I pray that He breaks my heart and everything filthy in it, that He breaks it for what breaks His. I thank Him for the overflow of wisdom, joy, laughter, tears He poured out to me (once again) on a higher level. Learning doesn’t end, humbling doesn’t end, for my idea of His love for humanity can never fully grasp how much He does. I thank Him for my friends, my brothers and sisters that were part of the retreat in 3 solid days of pruning and strengthening. I am in awe. Jesus, thank You. You give us more grace to stand against such evil desires, You opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble, James 4:6
Romans 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments and untraceable His ways! 💜:)